LEAD BY EXAMPLE
Some people think wearing the most expensive shoes or driving the nicest car is what tells the world who they are. They think status comes from having money or material things that makes them special. Sadly, sometimes they’re right. For example, some people believe celebrities who are famous just because they’re famous are the epitome of achievement. They emulate terrible behavior because there’s now a precedent. They think, “If Kanye can act that way, it’s ok for me to act that way.”
Kids see adults as the example of how to behave. What would a five-year-old think of you? How about if that five-year-old behaved the way you do, what would people think? What would you think? Most of us want our children to be better than ourselves. The only way to do that is to show them who we can be. They need to see us be better in order for them to be better.
Even adults look to other adults as examples. At work, people may take your lead on what’s appropriate behavior in a meeting. Is it ok to put your feet up on the table, drink coffee, or wear Chuck Taylor’s with your suit? No matter how much “higher up” you are in our self-imposed-hierarchy of the world, it’s not ok to have a problem with someone doing something that you do yourself. “Do as I say and not as I do,” is not an acceptable concept at any level. If you don’t want someone to “do as you do,” then just don’t fucking do that.
Making this concept into a habit isn’t easy.
You have to constantly ask yourself if the thing you’re about to do would be something you’d want your child/spouse/friend/co-worker doing. Instead, decide what you would want them to do and do that instead. If somebody drops their coffee cup on the sidewalk and you would want your kid to be a good samaritan and pick it up, then you need to do it first. Otherwise, the only example they get when they see that happen is the dude who tossed the cup on the street. What do you think they’re going to do when they’re older?
People say “be the person you want to be.” I say be the person you want others to be. They’ll come around, even if it takes longer than you think. Don’t give up; keep being awesome. Just don’t be a dick about it when they don’t meet your expectations.
Read more habits at GoodFuckingHabits.com
