LET YOURSELF FAIL
We are capable of amazing things.
We can cure diseases, fly to the moon and beyond, create emotionally moving pieces of art, and connect with millions of people around the planet in an instant. The list of world-changing innovations is practically endless, and I believe somewhere, deep down, we all have one to share. Assuming that’s true, what’s to stop us from realizing those dreams and putting those creations out into the world? Usually, it’s fear.
Whether it’s a fear of failure or just as often, of success, fear is the driving force backward on the path we push so hard to move forward. We have to become comfortable with failure. If I hand you a bow and arrow and ask you to hit a target half a mile away, you’d most likely miss without judging yourself. Very few people, if anyone at all, could succeed at that task and so we take that as an acceptable failure. Failing doesn’t make us any less of a man or woman.
So where is the line between an acceptable failure and something we fear? It’s somewhere around the “I should be able to do this,” mark where we assume we’re capable of a task and when it’s missed, it becomes an unacceptable failure. The trouble is, there’s no way of knowing where that line exists for each of us. More importantly, it doesn’t matter. It’s an arbitrary decision we make ourselves and no one other than us has any idea it’s even there. Everyone else is too concerned with whether they’ll fail at their own tasks to be bothered by ours.
As important as it is to try new things, it’s important to accept that we’ll inevitably be more successful at some more than others and that’s completely ok.
Search for small failures in your daily life that have no real meaning in order to practice accepting them for what they are. Toss a wad of paper into the trashcan from a distance and celebrate the fact that you missed. Be a little late on an unimportant deadline to send an email and take a deep breath when the world doesn’t end. Leave something off your to-do list so when you inevitably forget to pick up ice cream on the way home, you can remind yourself that it’s only ice cream and you can still turn around and go back without anyone judging you.
I don’t want to say no one cares about your small failures, but it’s at least a little true. When it comes to big failures, I have a feeling you’ll be your harshest judge and cast the most painful punishment on yourself (even if you shouldn’t).
I’m not saying it’s ok not to care whether you do things right or wrong; I’m saying it’s better to do something wrong, forgive yourself, and then move to repair the situation instead of spending your time dwelling on whatever it was that happened. Things don’t always go to plan, and that’s alright. Plans change. It just means you try again and hopefully have a better outcome on the next try. Failing at a task doesn’t brand you a failure.
Remember: It’s impossible to fail as long as you keep trying. Until you give up, it’s still just a work in progress.
