Resilience In The Face Of The Grieving Process
I have been reading a lot about resilience lately.
Psychologically resilience is defined as
an individual’s ability to adapt to stress and adversity.
What makes it easier for some to overcome overwhelming grief than others?
Some of the factors that make someone resilient are:
- a positive attitude
- optimism
- flexibility in thinking
- the ability to regulate emotions
- the ability to see failure as a form of helpful feedback
- a believe in oneself
- to take responsibility for one’s life
- seek good relationships
- acceptance of self, others, and life
Even after misfortune, resilient people are blessed with such an outlook that they are able to change course and carry on.
This does not mean that you just have to think positively and everything will fall into place.
Resilience is much more than that.
After a tragedy, like an illness that changes a career one might be very realistic and deal with the new situation by adjusting her possibilities.
Another person might go on and pursue a dream they didn’t think was worth taking seriously before the tragic event.
A third will find new meaning because they believe that there is a better future.
Resilient people don’t walk between the raindrops; they have scars to show for their experience. They struggle — but keep functioning anyway. Resilience is not the ability to escape unharmed. Hara Estroff Marano
The following quote in regards to grief sums it up quite well.
Edgar N. Jackson wrote:
If one has always met life’s problems with strength and assurance, it is reasonable to assume that he [she] will meet this experience the same way. One who has been easily distressed by circumstances may be so disturbed by the encounter with death that he [she] will need guidance and special help.
We forme resilience over a lifetime.
In reality we have considerable capacity for strength, although we might not always be aware of it. Feelings of loss and grief can overshadow our ability of resilience.
That is where a helping hand of a friend or a therapist comes in. She will remind you of your resilience, your strength and your abilities. He will help you overcome the sadness that overshadows them.
Sometimes you need others to show you your strength that you have built over a life time.
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