Putting On Blinders Is The Key To My Happiness
Because my skin isn’t thick enough yet.
I’m the type of person who wears her heart on her sleeve for all the world to see — and judge, if they so desire. I’ve attempted to change this about myself, but I’ve never been successful. And at this point in my life, I believe it’s a personality attribute I’d rather embrace than try to eliminate.
Although I’ve written short stories for a long time (mostly horror and fantasy), I’m new to the world of nonfiction writing. I was an avid reader on Medium for a year before deciding to take the plunge into this new writing world. I began experimenting on Medium only two months ago. And while I enjoy the therapeutic quality that nonfiction has to offer, I’ve realized I have a tremendous amount of learning to do in the way of craft.
And also, I care way too much what other people think of me. I have the bad habit of assuming every single person’s opinion of my work matters equally. That is simply not true.
Don’t get me wrong, constructive criticism and helpful comments from others are always welcome. That’s one way I improve my craft. But comments made only to bait an argument are not productive or helpful. Personally, I prefer civil discussion regarding differences of opinion.
One of my articles has had some unfortunate negativity thrown at it. And although it’s only one article, these spiteful comments threw me into a spiral for an entire week. Every time I sat down to write, I questioned myself. I imagined what argument could possibly be said about what I was trying to write. I constantly second-guessed myself and accomplished nothing.
I didn’t finish a single article for a whole week — this is how not to win on Medium. Or anywhere, actually.
“ Let everyone else call your idea crazy … just keep going. Don’t stop. Don’t even think about stopping until you get there, and don’t give much thought to where ‘there’ is. Whatever comes, just don’t stop.” — Phil Knight, creator of Nike
Despite the negativity surrounding that one piece, I’ve had a small bit of success here on Medium. Although I definitely believe in my writing abilities, I think some of this achievement is due to newbie luck — impeccable timing for my submission, an editor who took pity on me, the perfect planetary alignment, maybe some unbalanced combination of these?
But not finishing anything for an entire week made me realize I don’t have the thick skin needed to be a professional writer — at least not yet. So until I toughen up, or get a custom-made suit of armor, I’ll wear my blinders. Because I refuse to stop writing — fiction and nonfiction. I love it too much. Everything about it is fun and challenging.
I’ve earned the success I’ve had thus far — with or without luck. And I plan on earning more, regardless of someone else’s opinion or negatively baited argument.
While they absolutely have the right to their own opinions, so do I.
So, with my blinders on, I’ll keep showing up. Every day I’ll sit down at my desk and write. It might be an article. Or maybe a short story. But I’ll not stop writing. It’s okay to pause or take a break, but it’s not okay to stop.
Even when I’m not sure what’s at the end of the tunnel ahead, I’ll stay focused on what’s in front of me and keep going.
Zada Kent is co-founder of LGBTQueer-ies where the focus is on education to foster understanding, acceptance, and equality of all human beings, and proud parent to her young adult transgender son. For all parents of transgender kids here are 10 Questions Every Parent Should Ask Their Transgender Teen.
