The Costume That Wasn’t

A Totally Not Scary Halloween Story

I’m generally a pretty smart guy. I read non-fiction books about philosophy and the nature of the universe. I’m quite well educated in the realms of biology, chemistry, and physics. I’ve been a New York Times subscriber since high school, and read it every day (okay, okay, I skim). So it may come as a bit of a surprise that I have a big ol’ soft spot for the ridiculous and mindless. For example, I don’t know a lick of Shakespeare, but I can recite all of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back from memory. Seriously.

So maybe it’s not that strange that I was a big fan of MTV’s Jersey Shore. There’s just something about watching a bunch of muscle-bound douchebags and primped up princesses with nothing to do but drink and scream at each other that was so captivating. I always justified my fandom as anthropological research. The show captures a mindset and culture so completely removed from my own life that it may as well be from a different planet. Plus, watching other people blow up on each other (or strangers) for literally no reason makes me feel a lot better about the way I handle my own problems.

The mind likes what it likes.

Which brings me to the non-spooky Halloween story Jk Mansi requested. For a few years during grad school, I liked to come to work in costume on…