4 Practical Ways to Release and Find Presence
You need first to let go to welcome presence.
Being in the present moment sounds pretty simple.
All you need to do is bring your attention to now.
But sometimes it can be quite challenging because there’s still resistance underlying the surface of the doing.
Suppressing any feelings and pretending to be at peace could backfire and won’t bring the progress you anticipated because you still haven’t changed deep within.
Laying a solid groundwork can be a great booster to help bring presence to our daily lives. Here are 4 ways I found essential and I keep practicing along the way:
1. Releasing the Fear and Regret
Fear exists in the future.
Regret exists in the past.
Both feelings are intense when we are experiencing them in our minds. But they couldn’t change a thing, anything at this moment. Only in the now, we can be able to create and construct our lives. The countless moments of now where we create have become our past and future.
So what you can actually interfere with is in the moment.
Fearing the future won’t do any good, this future is just a combination of present moments that will come timewise. Instead of being afraid of what might or might not happen the next day or month or year, start working on the present moment so you can change the future.
Regretting the things we’ve done and words we’ve said can’t change history. The past is written in time. If we want to make it right, take the chance and start making a difference right now. How we should talk to others, what we should do to improve ourselves, and who we could become compared to us in the past. There are always opportunities for change to happen.
When you notice that your thought has been far away, be aware of what you’re thinking of and gently bring the attention back to now.
2. Release the Old Stories and Thinking Patterns
We learned so much from our own experience and that has protected us along the way. But the cocoon we build for ourselves can be too tiny and heavy to move and even get in the way of growth.
The stories we keep telling ourselves can be simple and unnoticed.
When people show good gestures, we go “Why and what is their agenda?”
When we are dealing with challenging tasks, we go “I should leave this to those who can do better”.
When we make stories up based on what we experienced in the past and persuade ourselves over and over again.
We are being lazy and reactive.
The most useful piece of learning for the uses of life is to unlearn what is untrue. — — Antisthenes
Sometimes, we have to unlearn what we know to be true for years.
To be honest, the unlearning process is always filled with uncertainty. I had to keep practicing and get used to letting go of the old stories I kept telling myself over the years.
But this has also opened new windows for me showing me scenery I haven’t seen before.
That scary ghost that kept haunting me was all in my head and I allowed it.
3. Release the Resistance from the Ego
My ego is one hell of a stubborn character.
When I want to make myself feel easier at the end of the day, she plays all possible scenarios in my head and keeps me wide awake at night. I noticed that she always tries to pin a ‘title’ on me in any situation, a victim, a loner, a coward…. She feeds off my energy, good or bad.
When I am aware of her existence and want to move forward, she gets very anxious and makes up all sorts of reasons to ‘talk’ myself out of it.
I was also surprised when I brought my attention back to the now, she’s got nowhere to exist. But the hard part is to be aware when the ego slips back in at any moment.
Ego is not our enemy. It’s just ‘someone’ who thinks and behaves based on all we’ve learned and heard so far. So, if we let ego take control, we are merely controlled by our past and experiences.
Things get easier when you know the ego’s true face.
I don’t have to mention all the techniques that help us stay in the present since those are pretty tangible. But do pay attention when ego could be speaking over your shoulders: When you are triggered by something someone said, when you are arguing with someone at work, or when you are alone by yourself but can’t stop ruminating about what you’ve done during the day.
Stay conscious and remember the ego can’t live in the now.
4. Release the Obsession with Control
You know when…
You expect someone to behave to meet your expectations.
You want this year to go exactly as you’ve planned.
You want today to be sunny, so you don’t have to get wet when commuting.
You are trying to control.
Not to take control but want things to operate exactly as you want. When things are off track, you feel anxious and exhaust yourself to bring them back to “course”.
Sometimes, good things happen when you allow life to flow.
You never know what life can bring and present to you. When all your focus is to “make” things happen, those possibilities can’t come into your sight. You turned a blind eye to other paths to your destination.
Letting go of control can be trusting and allowing others to help, or stopping to make everything happen like a screenplay, even allowing your worries and anxiety to surface and flow through you.
Be aware when you want to hold it tight, that’s usually an indicator of letting go.
Final Thought
Stay present requires your continuous effort to be conscious of your thoughts. Be an observer of your mind and good luck practicing letting go!
- Releasing the Fear and Regret
- Release the Old Stories and Thinking Patterns
- Release the Resistance from the Ego
- Release the Obsession with Control
Have faith and be gentle with yourself.
Start small and start now.
Follow me on an inspirational mindfulness journey!
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