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I Took Revenge On Him And Swore My Dog To Secrecy
It was all about principles and innocent lives
“Look at these beauties,” my boyfriend, Marco, grinned at me and he swung a mesh bag full of snails, almost hitting my face. “I’ll make these for us in a couple of days”.
With that, he marched up to the loft, taking the invertebrates with him.
Why?
To PURGE them.
You may not know this, but snails are tricky to cook. It’s not because of their shell, but due the defecation process they require before consumption. That’s if you don’t want to host fancy parasites in places where fancy parasites do not belong. And why would you?
Let’s move on.
So the snails were hanging somewhere in the loft, like prisoners on death row. Their days numbered. And I felt sick at the thought that they soon were going to meet their horrible end.
No, I don’t believe in the myth that a lobster slowly falls asleep as the heat gradually boils its ass. And I doubt this method works well for snails either. Whoever came up with that theory, clearly never tried boiling their own.
Turns out, it’s a cruel world for gastropods. One moment, you drink the fresh dew off the grass; the next, you’re scooped up with thirty…