In Defense of Good Men: A Pregnancy Chronicle

No, this isn’t a cliched anniversary post. It’s a rallying cry for women to recognize the existence of good men amidst the chaos.

A photo by Taylor Kopel from Unsplash

So, I’ve been MIA (Missing In Action) from writing lately. Why?

Well, I’ve been knee-deep in my second and now third trimester of pregnancy.

Not making excuses, but fatigue hit me hard. But amidst the exhaustion, I’ve had some real epiphanies.

This one’s for all the women out there who haven’t been as lucky to experience the love and care they deserve during pregnancy and beyond. And for the good men who are challenging stereotypes, hats off to you!

PS:

1. I’m not just gushing about my husband here. There’s no need for me to do so.
2. No intention to induce insecurity.
3. No emotional casualties, please.
4. Just here to celebrate those who deserve it and debunk the myth that good men are extinct.

So, I spent a couple of months away from my husband, chilling at my parents’ place in Hyderabad which was also a part of some Gujarati ritual.

So, he basically missed out on those precious little moments, but let me tell you, he made up for lost time when I got back.

Now, the million-dollar question: “Do men only step up during pregnancy?”

In my world, nope. My husband’s been the same sweetheart for the past 4.5 years. Pregnancy just added an extra layer of TLC (Tender Loving care).

Sure, he’s a bit more cautious and protective now, which is understandable.

He’s out the whole day working, so our evenings are sacred. That’s our time — just us three (baby, him, and me, of course).

I’ve seen so many couples where the guy takes his pregnant wife for granted, or worse, they both do. It’s heartbreaking.

I’ve also heard that a few men act like their wives are just doing what they are supposed to be doing and that there is nothing ‘wow’ in being pregnant. Ugh!!

But in my case, I’m content. I can’t stand things being taken for granted. For us, pregnancy is a big deal, not just a fleeting moment.

Moreover, we were pretty clear from the very start that this 9-months journey is special to both of us and that we both shall be equally invested in it with individual responsibilities.

There are many lovely, engaging, grown-up, and meaningful conversations we have when we spend quality time together.

We talk about our journey from just being a couple to becoming parents-to-be. We chat about the values we want to pass on to our kids and what kind of parents we hope to be. We discuss how we’ll adjust ourselves to handle the challenges of parenting.

Every chat revolves around things that matter to us and our future family.

Spending quality time together isn’t just about taking pictures; it’s about understanding each other’s feelings. We share our daily ups and downs, fears, and happiness, strengthening our bond.

Each night, we have a routine of sitting on a bridge, enjoying the fresh air. I sit on the bike while he takes a spot on the pavement.

We talk, we listen, and we work every day to improve our understanding, setting a good example for our kids. In short, we strive to be better people for them.

The best part is that my husband is equally committed. He never assumes that childcare is solely my responsibility because I’m currently a stay-at-home mom. He’s always been an equal partner in everything, showing that good men do exist and are willing to share the load.

I want to share some precious moments that have been happening since I am pregnant.

I always used to dream about them but it actually feels so overwhelming and blessed to be living them.

## My husband takes out time every night before going to bed and talks to the baby. He feels the baby movements and now the baby also recognizes his touch and voice after mine. I am not even kidding.

## He understands my mood swings although I have noticed less. He understands what pain I go through every day and helps me out in every way possible leaving aside his own tiredness.

## He always calls me without a miss before coming home to know what my craving for the day is and what I feel like eating and he gets it for me no matter how late it gets.

## So, during this pregnancy, I love when someone caresses my legs while sleeping as it gives me a relaxed feeling and he knows it so all I have to do is move my leg a bit and he immediately understands and starts caressing my legs.

## Every night especially in my current third trimester, I wake up at least three times to pee or due to some back pain. I don’t wake him up until something serious but he somehow gets up and when I don't fall asleep, he sings me my favorite songs that serve as a lullaby for me to fall asleep.

## Most important, his focus is not just the baby all the time; it’s me as well. He gets anxious when my health takes a toll when it’s not even related to my baby.

These moments aren’t for show. He’s not a fan of the social media spotlight, and honestly, that’s refreshing in this sole case, lest I get mad at him for not posting anything. Sigh!!

MORAL OF THE ARTICLE:

Not all men take pregnancy lightly. Some understand the sacrifices and stand by their partners without weighing them down.

So, to those Instagram reels, hear me out: not all men fit the same mold.

To all the expecting moms out there, may your partners be your rock, just like mine is to me. Here’s to love, care, and genuine partnership throughout this rollercoaster called pregnancy.