Writer’s Journal
What Does ‘Grief' Look Like To You? Here’s my Story.
Almost a century ago, Virginia Woolf wrote -
“Who shall measure the heat and violence of a poet’s heart, when caught and tangled in a women’s body?” _ A Room of One’s Own.
Sounds like an expression of Grief, no?
Human nature is evolutionarily inquisitive. We want to understand complex things, conquer them, and break them into digestible simple pieces.
But, sometimes it is our own emotions that we are petrified to face. So, we tend to bury them inside one of our heart’s deepest abysses and expect it to never come out. But, Surprise! That never happens!
Your mind will eventually remind you, mostly in the busiest of times, that you still have this ‘unfinished business’.
Today, let’s pick up a Torch, switch it on, and try to explore what’s inside this dark abyss.
Here’s My Story —
I have never known what ‘Loss' is until recently. I’ve had a great childhood, had a small circle of friends and a loving family. I can say I’ve been mostly happy all my life.
6 months ago, I lost my brother. And, this shattered me.
I was so busy with this fast-paced world, career, relationships, etc.. that I didn’t realize someone could smile at me so brightly yet suffer inside. With each passing day, I miss him more; and I realize I have been here before.
It was in college when I experienced a breakup.
Well, you know what that feels like.
So, within a week, my coping mechanism was to dive deep into preparing for competitive exams. The typical “I’ll show you I’m worth it!” attitude.
Instead of sitting with my grief, embracing it, and eventually letting it go, I was like —
“I’ll dig a hole and bury this shit, like nothing happened!”
And what did it cost me?
I wasted a year trying to prepare for an exam I wasn’t even sure about, couldn’t clear it obviously! Then, picked another something to do. ( This time, I succeeded — will talk about it later).
What I learned is —
Losing someone hurts like hell. Facing it hurts even more. But, you should realise, that experiencing grief isn’t a bad thing. It teaches us patience, makes us learn to go easy on the hard days, and, most of all, lets us know ourselves. So, my advice to you is, Let the Storm come. Sit with it, feel it and when It’s over, pat yourself on the shoulder and say, ‘It’ll be okay. Life is still beautiful.”
This was my story.
To paraphrase Franz Kafka,
“An article must be the Axe for the frozen sea within us.”
Was I able to scratch, even if a little, the surface of your frozen sea? If yes, Tell me about your story in the comments. I would love to listen to it ❤️.
