#014 Loosen Your Definition Of Family
Sometimes it’s not who we are born into but who we choose.
In life, bad things happen.
The people we love get sick, they get hurt, and in the worst of times, they die.
Organisations have long supported their employees through these times with things like carer’s leave, compassionate leave and bereavement leave.
But, often, who is considered family can be quite a narrow definition. According to FairWork, immediate family is considered a:
- Spouse or former spouse
- De facto partner or former de facto partner
- Child, step-child or grandchild
- Parent, step-parent or grandparent
- Sibling or step-sibling
- Or a child, parent, grandparent, grandchild or sibling of the employee’s current or former spouse or de facto partner.
But what happens if people in your life to be your family, isn’t the kind defined by marriage or blood?
Considering around 40% of Greater Melbourne’s population is born overseas, it’s easy to see how a fixed term like “family” can be an outdated term to describe who we choose to care for and who we choose to show up for.
So, what’s the big idea?
Loosen your definition of family, so that if your team need the time to care for someone important in their lives, they can.
When people are hurt, emotions run high. And if your team member is worried or upset because of someone important to them, you’re not going to do them (or their work) any good by keeping them working.
Instead, give them the space and permission to care for their loved ones, and they’ll be back and refreshed before long.
Getting Started
Take a look at your policies in place at the moment that mention family — with this article, I had caring and bereavement especially in mind, but you might find the concept of family comes up around benefits too.
Have a look at the wording you’ve used to describe who this means, and who it might exclude.
Are there ways you could loosen this term, within reason? The following is an except from Code for Australia’s leave policy:
We know family is sometimes the people you choose in life, not those you were born into. We’ll support you to take leave for the important people (and pets) in your life that might fall outside these categories too.
It can be as simple as that.
If you have a strong culture of trust, you should be able to trust your team’s judgement on who’s important in their life, rather than a technical definition.
Conversation Starters
If you need some ways to open the conversation with peers, seniors or even your own internal dialogue, here are some things you could ask:
- How do we support people to take the time they need as carers?
- What terms do we use to define important people and relationships?
- How do our policies contribute to a culture of trust in our organisation?
- Are there any other terms that might be restrictive or outdated in our policies?
Going Further
As the Code for Australia example illustrated, sometimes the important people in our lives aren’t people at all — but pets. Going further could look like supporting people to be carer’s to their pets when needed, because the anxiety and stress can be just as real when it comes to our furry friends.
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