A Mess and a Constant…
Dear Readers, I’m back! I realise my sudden hiatus has been excruciatingly long, but nothing to worry about anymore. I have struck again with a cured Writers’ Block ;)
I guess I’ve said this before, we all have a version of ourselves in our heads, perfect or not this image matters to us because it is how we define ourselves.
There are moments in life when this image breaks, due our own observation or maybe due to somebody else’s. Honestly, I agree that there is a dire need for this breakage, regardless, the mess and waves of emotions that follow through make me feel like it should never have happened in the first place [But, Surprise!! It happens anyways]
Many will ask me “Isn’t Mess and Waves of Emotion referring to the same idea?” No, they’re not. Waves of Emotions are emotional (well, obviously), but the Mess covers areas far beyond just emotions. Mess refers to Chaos. Your brain stops functioning, logic just doesn’t exist anymore, you stop understanding your emotions, you start feeling shallow, you just don’t recognize the person in your mirror anymore. Basically in situations like these you shut down.
This mess comes differently for everyone, but from what I’ve seen, you just stop feeling at all, emotions start exhausting you and suddenly life doesn’t make sense (because, well, logic is practically extinct at this point, you see)
In situations like these, you need something constant, something that doesn’t change with the hurricane you’re stuck in. These Constants come as people you know, maybe just strangers, a book, a song, a voice or just about anything, honestly. They ground you, act as your only link to your reality. Talking to them, listening to them, reading them or just their silent presence feels like a wash of cool breeze on a summer, a warm and heavy blanket sitting on you as you fall asleep on a cold winter night, or a cup of tea on a grey monsoon evening.
The most these Constants have to do is just exist for you and suddenly the world makes sense, they somehow bring you back to life.
No matter how much we deny it or act strong, we all need our Constants, maybe just to get by or just to cope with this ever-changing and fickle life.
You know what the best part about this is, we are all somebody’s constants, somebody’s home and we do it just by existing in this world, just by being born. I think that’s the beauty of it, how we unknowingly just bring someone home, how our words give them solace and how our voice calms their heart.
That’s just the Beauty of it…
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Oh! No, I’m not done yet. Don’t leave, stay a minute.
This blog was a complicated one, I suppose. How I went from being a mess to being a solace, but I guess, it expresses best everything that I’ve been trying to say: Life is messy, it is ever-changing and all we can do is keep up.
One day, you will fall behind, everyone does and that day I hope you have a Constant to anchor yourself to.
So to end with, I’ll just say “I love you, dearest Constant. Thank you for being here. I hope I can return the favor sometime.”
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I’m done. You can go now. Have a nice day [and also a nice life] ;)
©Anishkaa. M
29/4/2024
