GREY AND WHITE
That’s all I can see
I could actually say I lost my sight,
My sense of vision,
Because all I’m seeing is grey and white,
As I go through each day, wishing it was my own decision.
I’ve forgotten how to feel,
How to be human, how to be real,
Because everything just seems unreal..so fake,
Each day passing in the same time frame,
As I choose to do the same,
Just for God’s sake.
I could also say I used to see before,
I used to feel, I used to be happy,
But how could I ever do that when you’re not here anymore,
Because now there’s no more color,
It has all faded away,
And to go through each day seems more of an obligation than a free gift,
So I ask myself where did it all go wrong,
Where did I make the wrong twist, turn, or shift,
I think of that all day long,
As I go to your grave to see your headstone again,
To give you those roses you always loved,
To spend some time with you and pretend like we’re still playing our old video games.
As I see your timeline written on the piece of rock,
From that year - this year,
I wonder whether the news of your passing would still give me that same shock,
As I struggle halfheartedly to hold back a tear.
I hope you can hear me, I hope you’re happy and resting there,
Somewhere peaceful, a safe space, a better place,
So you won’t see my teary face,
And laugh at me like you always did when I cried.
I manage to say as I clean another tear with a half smile.
So now, I can say also,
That even though I may have lost my sight,
I can still see a little color, a small light,
In all this grey and white.
I can still feel something real...
Hope,
That one day we will meet again,
Today, tomorrow, someday, who knows?
I’ll just visit your grave every day and drop those flowers you loved, those same old roses.
