What was she putting on? An excuse for sexual abuse
Unraveling the depth and twisted ideologies that back up victim blaming in society can be quite overwhelming. In our homes, churches, clubs, schools, and other social groups we sometimes encounter situations that make one wonder how accountability diminished.
Accountability these days is dwindling, causally shifted to the side and anybody can seize those moments to oppress someone. And in turn, the victim is blamed for being oppressed. This is similar to what happens to most victims of sexual abuse.
A million questions are often thrown at sexually abused individuals, some of whom are asked to help get them justice while others are asked to silence them and/or blame the incident on them.
“What was she putting on?” It is one of those questions a lot of people ask the victim, especially when the victim is a female.
Statistics have it that about 27% of Europeans think rape may be justifiable under some circumstances hence indicating the attitude of victim blaming.
This percentage contributes largely to the alarming number of unreported rape cases as proven by the criminal justice system. Victims are silenced, guilt-tripped, and stigmatized by society, while the assaulter goes scout-free.
The cloth or apparel of a specific gender does not justify the lack of sexual discipline on the part of the rapist. While decency is held in high esteem and promoted in society to avoid rape as well as questions like this from being asked, there have been cases where properly dressed females fall victim.
I mean, women/girls who are fully clothed. They are dressed in clothes that flow loosely from the top of their head to the sole of their feet with no part of their body getting kissed by the sun, except their fingers. And in some cases, even the fingers are covered.
Would they also be asked to give details of what they were putting on or does dressing a certain way scream, “ABUSE ME!”? Victim blaming is more dangerous but is often swept under the carpet and overlooked while the victim suffers.
How does Victim Blaming Affect the Victim
1. Victims experience psychological and emotional trauma
2. They often live in constant fear
3. In many cases, they do not get the justice they deserve.
4. Most of these victims end up being abused by the same people over and over again.
5. Many rape victims contemplate suicide
Cases of rape and harassment among other vices are on the rapid increase by the perpetrators because their victims live in fear of being blamed for the act. What can be done?
What role can we play in putting a stop to victim blaming as it regards sexual abuse?
Where do we come in as individuals, groups, religious bodies, guardians, and parents?
The first step to stop victim blaming is to:
1. Understand why it happens: Most people find it a lot easier to blame the victim because they feel that in doing so, they can protect themselves from such an occurrence.
They try to avoid being the next target by being in the assaulter’s good book. Or so they think. Next, let’s be able to identify what victim blaming looks or sounds like.
2. Identify victim blaming scenes: Victim blaming often sounds like excuses on the assaulter’s behalf or reasons to justify the action. They may include:
- “The victim led him on,”
- “The victim was drunk,”
- “If the victim didn’t visit him, it wouldn’t have happened,”
- “The victim shouldn’t have worn that,” etc
Now that we can identify some of these victim-blaming statements and questions, we can move on to…
1. Challenge any form of victim-blaming statements or attitude when you hear them.
2. Do not succumb to the assaulter’s excuses and hold them accountable
3. Ensure the victim’s safety and assure them of justice. Smartly, rephrase any victim-blaming question and ask it back at the abuser.
Conclusion
Sexual abuse is a very sensitive topic. Rape, harassment.s and abuse are sometimes overlooked and underreported due to victim blaming. This alone can foster recurrence.
However, by taking the aforementioned steps as an individual, organizations and/or associations in our society should carry out an awareness program.
This program can be done using the media to sensitize and educate members of society on the dangers of victim blaming and how best to put an end to it.
I am Ogochukwu, I believe in a well-meaning society where the safety of every individual is assured and justice via unity is guaranteed.
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