Youth Q&A: How do I talk to my non-believer friends?
This question was sent in by a student during a Q&A session with the Good Fight Youth Group:
“How do I talk to my non-believer friends and help them?”
Great question.
And honestly? An important one.
Because if you follow Jesus, you’re not just called to keep Him to yourself. You’re called to share Him. To be a light in the lives of the people around you.
But here’s the tricky part:
How do you do that without sounding pushy? Without coming across like you’re judging them? Without feeling awkward or scared?
Here’s what I’ve learned.
1. Start with compassion.
Before you say a word about Jesus, take the time to really see your friend.
Ask questions. Listen to their story. Hear their doubts, their pain, their struggles without harsh judgement.
It’s not your job to fix them (that’s the job of Jesus), It’s your job to love them in such a way that it helps open the door for them to meet Jesus.
So when they open up about something they’re struggling with, resist the urge to jump straight into Bible verses or quick solutions.
Instead, let them feel heard. Let them feel seen.
As the saying goes, “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”
2. Don’t judge non-Christians for acting like non-Christians.
This one’s huge.
Sometimes, as believers, we can forget what it’s like to not know Jesus.
We expect our non-believing friends to live by the same standards we do.
But that’s not fair. They don’t know what you know. They don’t have the same source of hope or guidance.
So don’t judge them for their choices. Instead, meet them where they are. Just like Jesus met you where you were.
3. Use the framework: Sickness, Cure, Will You Take the Cure?
Think of the gospel like this:
- The sickness is the brokenness of the world — and of all of us.
- The cure is Jesus.
- The question is, will you take the cure?
Start by pointing to the brokenness of the world.
Be honest about it. The pain, the injustice, the emptiness that so many people feel. Your friend probably already sees it — they don’t need you to convince them that things are messed up.
Then, point to your own brokenness.
This part is crucial. Don’t act like you’ve got it all together. Be real about the ways you’ve struggled, the ways you’ve fallen short. Show them that you’re not coming from a place of superiority — you’re coming from a place of shared humanity.
And finally, introduce Jesus as the cure.
Talk about how He’s made a difference in your life. How He’s brought healing, peace, hope, and purpose. Don’t preach — just share your story.
And then invite them to explore Jesus for themselves.
4. Be patient and trust God.
Here’s the thing: You’re not the one who changes hearts. That’s God’s job.
Your job is to plant seeds. To love your friend well. To share the truth with grace and humility.
And then let the Holy Spirit do what only He can do.
It might take time. It might take years. But don’t give up. Keep praying for them. Keep being there for them. Keep pointing them to Jesus, little by little.
Here’s what it all comes down to:
Talking to your non-believer friends isn’t about winning an argument. It’s about winning their heart.
And the best way to do that?
Show them Jesus. Not just in your words, but in your life. In your love. In your patience. In your willingness to walk alongside them, no matter how long it takes.
Because at the end of the day, Jesus is the one who saves.
You’re just the one who gets to point the way.
