Life is Complicated

Twenty years ago all I wanted to do was draw shoes and be a good father, husband and son. Pretty simple goals. Any problem that I found could be answered in sit-com timelines. Roll credits.

Today the conversations are far more complex and sometimes feel as though several seasons need to pass before fully understanding the question.

Yesterday’s conversation with another father about teaching his daughters about n-word was rich. We both came from a place where no one had to ever sit you down and explain it because every use and nuance about the word found expression on a daily basis. Of course you’d have trusted figures share their beliefs on the word, but our parents never had an explicit conversation about it.

Same was true about the police or religion or sexuality or death. There was enough context to have a discussion — as opposed to starting from scratch.

I have that same feeling when I think about the work I’ve done over the last twenty years. On one hand you might argue that I’ve built a career and helped raise a family with my design shoes with Nike and Yeezy — assisting companies to employ thousands of hard working people while encouraging young people to chase their dreams and reach for the stars.

You know what I mean.

On the other hand, you can decide that I wasted my intellect on adding to the superficial landscape of materialistic ownership by promoting underpaid labor for kids that should be focused on SAT’s and not 350’s.

Extreme reaches that very few people would come to, but they are the conversations that echo in my head when it gets too quiet.

When Ye wants to do something for the sick kid in Colorado I feel good. When Ye makes a sick joke in support of Trump I don’t feel good. When Nike supports Kaepernick I feel good. When Nike sponsors the entire NFL I’m conflicted.

It’s complicated.

I’m not an employee of anyone right now, though I still consult with different brands and different individuals. I have reached a point in my career where I can choose to work with people that better align with how I want to create positive change in the world, but as the thought provoking sit-com ‘The Good Place’ explains, doing good isn’t that easy.

I try not to judge any person or company or brand that missteps because of lack of information. Unintentional racism is often the result of lack of representation.

But once you know what the problem is, you should take action to resolve the concern to reduce future situations.

A very good friend commented on how people use to be able to say things that were offensive and nobody got upset. I then called him an old and dying breed that had no place in the future.

He was somewhat mortified.

Then I smiled and told him that the hurt he felt at my statement was completely justified, but the days of ignoring that pain for many people is over. The days of being laughed at or shot or ignored were over. Representation matters.

He felt that.

So our conversation danced around specific occasions where he wasn’t sure what right answer should have been. Every situation is different. Every person brings layers upon layers of context that could be debated for hours.

Who has time for that?

I tell people that I draw shoes for a living.

The people that know me either smile or cringe.

The ones that smile are happy that I keep the conversation light. “I did the LunarGrand. I did the v2.” Simple.

The ones that cringe want me to tell people that I’m focused on creating supportive shoes for seniors and building platforms for teachers and veterans.

Somewhere in the middle is the easy answer, but I am not good at finding that voice. That pithy and SEO driven solution that resolved what I do.

I would love to say, ‘I just want to draw shoes,’ but my portfolio says otherwise. My project choices say something different.

I want to force a conversation knowing that I may not find an answer. I don’t tell my kids whether or not they should use the n-word. I have ten times more directive on how they respect words related to women and girls. But the n-word is a conversation and a reality I have with parents that can relate in one way or another.

The same is true about the product I design. From Chinese factory employees to trash in the Pacific Ocean, what I do is complicated because what I choose to work on has impact. It might not be my actual work but it could be someone that models themselves after me.

Every interaction with someone who looks up to me or my work is guided by the 30 seconds Terrell Mabry gave me during my first varsity practice as a freshman in high school. “You remind me of me when I was a freshman,” the senior team captain told me when I knew I was way in over my head. I survived freshman year because of those 30 seconds.

I know that 99% of what I do will go unnoticed. That’s how life works.

But I want to work out those complicated details so I get that 1% right.

Good things.