Uncommon Answers to Common Questions
When you want to be weird
It’s not a poem, but goofy.
What’s up?
The sky.
Where are you going?
I’m going forward.
Where did you come from?
Home. Obviously.
Where do you live?
What a silly question! At. My. Home.
How old are you?
Not much old.
What do you do for a living?
Eat, sleep, breath. I would recommend you do that also.
What did you do?
You need to be more specific. When?
Do you have a car?
No, it’s too heavy.
Do you speak another language?
I think we both are fluent in English. Or do you not understand me?
How much does this cost?
Exactly amount written on the label.
Can I pay by card?
Yes, 5 cards, please.
Which bus should I get?
I would suggest you buy a car. Much cheaper choice!
What do you think?
I think what I think and think what I think and… get me out!
How did you find this?
I searched.
Do you like this?
I never thought about it.
What is your view on this?
Close to 180 degrees.
Are you ready to order?
Yes. I order you to bring me water!
What would you like to drink?
Any food. It takes so long to chew it sometimes…
Can I get you anything else?
You cannot get me everything. Can you? Are you a gin?
How was your meal?
It was on the plate. I finished it now.
What’s that?
It’s definitely that.
