Mental Illness Is Not A Choice

Currently, I’m reading a book written by a young mom who lost her husband to suicide a few years ago. Just typing the word ‘suicide’ there in the first sentence, reminds me how far we have to go as a society with not ignoring that word, or anything that comes along with it. It’s uncomfortable. It’s taboo. It’s “not something we talk about”. For some, it’s even a scary word. So let’s take all you have ever known, read, or heard about that word and throw it out. Let’s start over. Let’s work harder to be better people today.

Suicide is not a selfish act.

A person living with mental illness has zero control over the thoughts and feelings it brings upon them. They are not choosing to feel that.

I’ve spoken with a few people who have experience with mental illness and suicidal thoughts, and one thing was common among them all — They believed they would actually be doing a favor to the people in their lives. It was far from selfish for them. It was more of a, “I don’t want to be a burden. They would be better off.” That is how it is justified in their brains. What is important to learn here — is we should focus on the things we say. Let’s flip the script a bit. Instead of saying, “they committed suicide”, we should be pointing those words at the mental illness, not the person. “They died by suicide” because they did and that didn’t make them any less of a human being.

I know right now you’re probably thinking, that’s crazy! How could anyone think their families, friends, loved ones would be better off without them? Yeah, you’re right. It is crazy. We don’t get it either. We only know a drop in the ocean about the human brain in this world. We may never fully grasp it.

The choices we make every day may seem mundane — driving to work, stopping for coffee, dinner with a friend, or going to the gym. A person living with mental illness does not choose most of what they experience. They do not choose the agonizing feeling of forcing yourself out of bed. They do not choose the constant anxiety of what others are thinking of them. They do not choose to feel small in a world made so big.

It is more than okay to admit that you live with a mental illness. You know why? Because you also admitted you are living.

I am a firm believer in growing and evolving as humans and understanding new things. If you have never experienced mental illness/suicidal thoughts or been around someone who has, you may never understand. You may never get it.

That’s okay.

But I urge you to try. I urge you to learn something this world deems as “taboo.” I urge you to learn how to support your people. I challenge you to educate yourself with what is going on with your people…or even yourself.

Listen, learn, then go and support.

If anyone is interested in reading more about the book I mentioned above, I highly recommend it! It’s called “Fear Gone Wild” by Kayla Stoeklein.

What are your thoughts? What do you think about when you hear the word ‘suicide’. Do you have your own experience to share?

You’re doing so great.