Still in My Heart
A love entangled with discrimination
The breeze of the cold night whisks with the moonlight. I try to pick out the stars in the dark night but none of them are blinking in the manner I want. Would she be able to see stars in her sky right now? I touch the phone screen. Almost it is 5.30 am. Street lights glimmer in the Duplication road. I can clearly witness the lampshade of little Ayesha’s house, my neighbor. “The little girl must be studying for her O/Ls this time,” I say to myself.
I drink the glass of merlot wine on my table. The glass lies on the Reader’s Digest magazine without letting wind throw its papers away. Why do I keep reading Reader’s Digest? It is not even my favorite magazine. It belongs to her. I should throw it away. I pick up the magazine and slowly turn the fresh-smelling pages.
‘ Daniya Wijethunga’, I find her business card inside the pages. Business Card! The very word makes me angry. I throw the magazine out of the balcony and empty my merlot bottle. I check the phone again. It’s 6.30 am, and the notification bar is hollow. My phone screen displays two time zones. One is around 2 am, the time of the united kingdom where Daniya lives.
I still see the lampshade of Daniya’s house where her sister Ayesha studies alone. But why this long? The competition of education I think.
“Amrith, come have your tea”
I can hear the voice of my annoying younger brother from distance. He is Agniv, almost 20 to this year, and is endowed with a good Tamil girl, not like Daniya Wijethunga, who exchanged my life for her love limited to racism.
“ I want to sleep again, man! I can’t have tea”
“ Who asked you not to Sleep! Do what you want. But be like a human when Deepathi’s parents arrive here.”
The anger in Agniv’s voice echoes throughout my room.
“ She shouldn’t have separated from me, Agniv, though I’m a Tamil guy, although Daniya is a Buddhist girl she shouldn’t have broken up with me”
I am powerless to control my tears. Agniv doesn’t show any sign of emotion when he sees my tears. Because he is familiar with my whining and tears for a month.
“ Go and talk to Ayesha, if you want ”
Agniv put his hands around my shoulders and whispers slowly.
“ I can’t. Don’t you remember, Daniya asked not to speak to her family members, especially to little Ayesha?”
I am not strong enough to face Ayesha either whose face mirrors the same features as Daniya. Why I loved a Buddhist girl for three long years? According to Danya’s final text message, that’s my fault too.
“ Someone is knocking on the door Ami”
Agniv runs to the door as he did in childhood.
“ Ami , just look, sister Deepathi has arrived, my future sister-in-law,”
Agniv welcomes the would-be daughter-in-law of the Amirthalingam family. Deepathi is my aunt’s daughter whom my mother fixed my marriage with as soon as she got to know about my breakup with Daniya.
“ Happy birthday, Amrith anna,”
Deepathi wishes me shyly, giving me the birthday gift. I take the box without touching her little hands painted with mehndi. She is wearing a green lehenga up to the feet and her hair falls up to the knee with a jasmine garland.
Daniya has never wished me in such a timid way. I have celebrated my 24th, 25th, 26th birthdays with her. At all those moments, she threw a surprise birthday party, she would jump on to me showing her gymnastics skills almost breaking my back, or else she would put the cake over my face.
“ Did you come alone?”
I don’t know have anything to utter except this question.
“ Go to the bathroom and wash before her parents come”.
My brother doesn’t let Deepathi reply but pushes me to the bathroom. Suddenly, I notice a message from Daniya. I feel numb, I run into the bathroom in order to hide from them.
“ Hi! Ami, Happy birthday!”
A stroke in my heart, I guess. Is that hers or a wrong number? I recheck the number and that is Daniya . Another message pops.
“ I came home from London. Please cross the road and meet me in front of my house.”
I wash my face but forget to brush the teeth. I put a mismatching pair of shorts and a t-shirt on. I can’t pass the drawing-room since my relatives are there. So, I get on to the tree near the balcony. Usually, it’s not my cup of tea but luckily I’m in the garden without being caught by someone
I cross the road and I feel something tight in the heart when I see the figure of Daniya . She has cut her hair up to her ears. She jumps into me and hugs me just like in the same old days.
“Happy 27th Birthday, Ami “ .she kisses me on the cheeks and looks directly into my eyes.
“ Why didn’t you speak to me? You said that our relationship is over and why are you hugging me now?”
Though my words reflect anger, I keep on hugging her because I want to feel the fragrance of her purple hair.
“ Listen to me, Ami, Mrs. Amirthilanigam has said to my mother that she doesn’t like us because I’m a Buddhist. So, my mother asked me to stop the relationship. But I didn’t tell you that stuff and remained silent for a month until I got my tickets to come back to Sri Lanka and talk to you.”
She tightly clasps my hands and hugs me again.
“ Better I wasn’t born,” I say to myself while my eyes make the beautiful shoulders of Daniya wet.
“ Son Amrith, Deepathi ‘s parents have arrived.”
My mother calls me from the other end of the road. I pretend not to hear her. I don’t need to face the reality of my life. My mother pulls me by my t-shirt and Daniya gets away from my hand.
“Who is Deepathi?”
I cannot look at Daniya, not those blue eyes which tremble in confusion.
“ My daughter-in-law, from our own religion and a cultured girl.” My mother shouts in anger. Daniya looks at me in the eyes but I lower my eyes while mother pulls me away. Daniya runs inside the house crying and a little box falls before my feet. I get a glimpse of the silver ring in the box while my mother is taking me to my new relatives.
© shalu bandara 2021
