The DVD Seller
A story about simplicity, poverty, virtue, and persistence
It’s almost noon and the day is warm. My father and I are walking down the sidewalk with the intention of catching the bus to our town before it leaves. We’ve come to the city to buy some stuff and run some errands. It’s a weekend and the streets are full of people and vehicles.
We reach the end of the sidewalk and that’s when my father taps me on the shoulder to get my attention. He shows me a person on the pavement with a bunch of DVDs neatly arranged beside the sidewalk. He is wearing a cap and underneath that, there is a piece of cloth that falls down to his shoulders. His complexion and the dressing style reminds me of the famous West Indies cricketer, Chris Gayle.
“Why don’t you go there and buy something worth watching?” My father says casually. Having been a huge movie lover himself, his words don’t surprise me. Technically, I inherit his genes so, I don’t need further encouragement either. I get some money from him and cross the street to browse some movies.
He is surrounded by a few customers who keep asking him about the things regarding the stuff he sells. I take a quick look at the DVDs and spot one title I’ve been looking for a while. It’s the Ip Man movie series starring Donnie Yen. It’s 2011 and VOD has just entered Sri Lanka. Most importantly, we don’t own a cable connection since our family doesn’t spend much time on TV.
I pick up the movie and approach him.
“How much for this?” I ask him in a friendly tone. I’ve never seen him in the city before. Surely, he must be new.
“Sixty rupees, sir,” he says having a look at what’s in my hand. “And I must say, it’s an excellent choice. You’ll be in awe of the art.”
At once, his words don’t make any sense to me. Then, I realize that he is talking about the martial art, Wing Chun that Yip Man popularized.
I pay for the DVD and reach my father who’s waiting for me. We manage to catch the bus on time and return home after two hours. Once at home, I take a quick shower and settle down to watch the movies. My father has already turned the DVD player on. Mother approaches us with some snacks and tea.
The movie is terrific and I like the video quality. My father also looks satisfied.
“Looks like he’s got some good stuff. We should buy from him once in a while.” He says in a relaxed manner.
I leave the hospital premises with a lot in my mind. It’s about 7.30 AM and the city is starting to wake up. Still, the streets are not busy and drizzle has started to fall. I reflect on the disappointing appointment I had with my psychiatrist a few minutes ago. It looks like my father is right. I’ve got to find another medical professional.
I walk into a shop expecting to buy a bag. I’m really not good at making shopping-related choices. According to my father, I get duped easily.
I ask about bags and the owner shows me a few designs. I choose an ordinary-looking one and asks the price.
“It’s 1500 rupees.” He shows me the price tag. “But since you are my very first customer today, I could give it to you for 1250.”
I smile slightly. My father’s words reverberate in my ears. “You should always bargain a little bit. Of course, he will lower the price without you asking to do so. But remember, that’s the exact price he is looking for the item. Never settle down for that.”
But still, it’s early in the morning. Besides, bargaining means arguing, and I’m not in the mood to argue. In fact, I rarely argue.
I pay for the bag and come out of the shop. I’m on the usual sidewalk that leads to the bus stand. For a moment, I feel like it’s too early to hit home. But then, I realize that I’ve got nothing else to do in the city except wandering.
So, I start walking down the sidewalk. A laborer assigned by the municipal council comes towards me pushing a trash cart along the road. He smiles at me very pleasantly and I make sure to do the same. A middle-aged policeman who looks really stoic stands beside the road. Surely, he must be awaiting the traffic. The drizzle is no more and I overhear the conversation of two older women who walk past me. One of them predicts that it’s going to rain in the evening.
I reach the end of the sidewalk and set my eyes on the bus stand. I can see the bus I’m supposed to take even from where I’m standing. But I can feel the complaint of my subconscious when I remind it of the two-hour boring journey with no companions.
Suddenly, a woman in her mid-twenties enters my sight. It seems that she is going to work and I can’t help but silently admire how beautiful she looks in that particular saree. My eyes spontaneously follow her moving figure and that’s when I spot him for the second time.
His DVDs are in the same place and he is feeding peanuts to the nearby birds. My hands reach into my pockets and I instantly do a quick calculation in my mind. Of course, even if I had spent a significant amount of money today, I still can afford to buy something to watch.
I reach his stuff and start going through them. Luckily, it doesn’t take me that much time to notice a movie collection of one of my favorite Bollywood actors, Hrithik Roshan. It has this particular movie which is famous for its outstanding songs.
I look at him with the intention of paying for the item but he is still feeding the birds. Clearly, he must not have seen me yet.
“Good morning!”
He turns around to face me.
“Oh! sir, I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you.” He looks genuinely concerned.
“No, it’s okay. Take your time. I can wait.” I say looking at the pigeons.
“Actually, I’m done feeding them.” He throws the empty paper bag into the bin and comes to me with a smile. “Actually, it’s a part of my morning routine, sir, my day goes well when I start it with something good like giving them something to eat.”
It looks like he believes in karma. And so do I. After all, this is Sri Lanka and our culture is blessed with Theravada Buddhism.
I give him the money and he touches each of his eyes with the notes I gave. I realize that I’m his very first customer today.
“I’m glad I could do business early in the morning with a very good gentleman.”
Actually, it is the second time I saw him. Is he flattering me? Or are those words genuine?
Whatever it is, usually, I’m not the person who lets such scenarios take me to the territory of dilemma or being carried away.
I thank him, wish him a good day, and head towards the bus stand.
After about a year, our family moves to the city for a few reasons and we begin to live in a rented house. Also, I start my very first employment which is teaching English part-time. This makes me travel a lot around the city to visit my students. Therefore, I get to interact with him always. Most of the time when I’m heading home in the evenings, I make sure to buy something from him.
He is about forty years old and has a great sense of humor. Also, he displays a fairly good knowledge of the movies he is selling. Most importantly, he is capable of attracting customers right away. In addition to the stuff I take home, even my father doesn’t forget to purchase something from him from time to time.
It’s been about six months since we moved to the city and finally, he opens up to me about his personal life.
It’s noon and the sun is mercilessly burdening. I walk towards my usual restaurant to grab some lunch before visiting my next student. Shahrukh Khan’s new movie, Chennai Express has been released recently and I had asked for a copy with better quality from him the other day because I missed watching it in the theatre. The restaurant is just opposite where he does his business so, I resist my hunger for a moment and pay him a visit.
“How are the things going on, uncle?” I ask him the usual question.
“Well, sir, John Cena supports me immensely nowadays.”
I laugh out loud. His words carry both humor and meaning. I had temporarily stopped watching professional wrestling about four years ago but the World Wrestling Entertainment has a devoted fanbase in my country.
I ask him about the movie I asked for and he immediately opens his side bag and hands it to me.
“If I had kept it with other items, I wouldn’t have been capable of saving it for you. There is a high demand for that at the moment.”
His words make sense.
Someone from the nearby food stall approaches him with a bottle of soft drink. He exchanges a few jokes with that person and looks at me.
“Sir, why don’t you take a few sips?” He says showing the bottle in his hand. “It’s really hot and you look really tired.”
I refuse his offer thanking him in advance.
“Actually, I’m about to grab my lunch. After all, you are the one who’s exposed to the sun all the time.” I say looking up at the sky.
After eating my lunch, I buy a yogurt drink and show up in front of him again.
“Did you have your lunch, uncle?”
It seems like he is surprised to see me again.
“Well, it’s quite early, isn’t it?”
“No problem. But you’ll probably feel thirsty soon due to this heat. And I think this could help you with it.” I say giving him the yogurt drink.
He takes it from me. I can see the gratitude in his eyes and the words. Then, he opens the bag and put it in there.
“I’m gonna share it with Sudu.”
“Who’s Sudu?”
“She is my wife, sir,”
‘Sudu’ means ‘White’ in my mother tongue Sinhalese and people often use that word to call their loved ones.
I do a calculation in my mind fast. But at the moment, I’m not in a position to buy one more yogurt drink.
“So, you don’t have kids?” I ask.
He manages a smile. “This is a tough time for us, sir, my wife’s father lives with us too. He is paralyzed.”
His words call the empath within me. Also, I struggle to contain my burning curiosity.
“Is this your hometown? Honestly, I don’t think that you grew up in this area.”
He gives me a strange look. Maybe he is wondering how I figured that out.
“You are right. I’m from Moratuwa.” I can clearly sense the shakiness in his voice. “When the tsunami hit in 2004, we lost our house. After we received recompense from the government we bought a small land and settled here in Horana.”
I take my phone out and check the time. No doubt I’m going to be late for the class. At the same time, he also reaches into his shirt pocket and grabs his phone. Sun’s reflection on the screen makes it hard to clearly see what’s on there. He uses one hand to cover the phone from sunlight.
“Sir, can you please read the name of this caller?” After a few seconds, he shows me the screen. I look at it and tell the name of the person who has made the missed call.
“Is your eyesight weak?” I ask casually.
He manages a smile. “Before getting onto this business I worked as a welder for years. The flame affected my eyes. But after I left my hometown, I didn’t have the chance to restart what I used to do. On the bright side, at least my eyes are doing fine despite all the hardships.”
He talks as if he barely takes things seriously.
“Why don’t you look for treatment? After all, you aren’t even fifty yet.” I’m genuinely concerned.
When he is about to answer my question, suddenly his eyes set on something behind me. In a moment, his genial demeanor reappears.
“How are you doing, ma’am? How is the son?” He talks to someone behind me. I turn to see who he is talking to and spot a middle-aged woman who is approaching us. She has a few grocery bags in her hands.
“I came to the town to visit the fair. And he is doing fine. Yesterday he began walking with crutches.”
“Oh! That’s good news. By the way, please give this to him.” He picks up a DVD from the pile and puts it into one of the grocery bags. I notice that it’s the most recent World Wrestling Entertainment pay-per-view. “Give him my regards. And whenever I had some free time, I’ll try to visit him. Please tell him to take care of himself.”
The woman thanks him and leave the two of us giving me a warm smile.
“Is she someone whom you know very well?” I ask since I noticed that she didn’t pay for the DVD.
“Actually, I barely know her but her son is a regular customer of mine. About a month ago, he met with an accident and he was bedridden until yesterday. Some business kept me busy so, I couldn’t visit him at the hospital. The only thing I can do is sending his favorite stuff home for free. He is a sucker for wrestling.” His eyes get brightened
“Honestly, that’s a very good thing to do. Nothing helps kill time like pro wrestling when you are sick and can’t go out.” I tell reflecting on my own past.
Once again, he scans the pile and picks up a movie collection. “Sir, I’ve been meaning to give this to you. I had this thing with me for the past three months but nobody bought it.” He keeps the DVD in my hand.
I take a quick look at it and find out that I’ve already watched three of them. For me, all the movies in that collection are fairly good so, what he told me about these movies puzzles me. But as we all know, the taste is subjective.
For a moment I feel like I should kindly refuse what he offered. In the next moment, I consider giving him money for that. However, I suppress both thoughts because I don’t want to disrespect him.
I thank him and make my mind to quickly talk to him about something which has been bothering me for a while.
“By the way, uncle, please don’t call me sir.”
It’s true that there is a customer-seller relationship between us. But in this part of the world (South Asia), even when it comes to such scenarios, people still address each other just like they are addressing their relatives despite not being related at all.
On the other hand, even in professional matters, someone who is older than me in like 20 years giving me such a courtesy makes me uncomfortable.
A Few more months pass and eventually my very first student of the city also gets used to visiting my DVD-selling friend. Unlike me, he is someone who is unnecessarily concerned about the audio and video qualities of the movies he watches. Simply put, he always looks for the Blu-ray format. Therefore, only I know that my student buys stuff from my friend out of charity. He barely watches what he purchases.
It’s the beginning of an April and the majority of Sri Lankans get ready to celebrate the New Year festival. The holidays have begun and the city is full of people who are busy with shopping necessities for the festive season.
My student and I stand beside the sidewalk chatting with him. We’ve just arrived there and my companion has already bought a few pieces in the first instance like he usually does. I still keep looking for something worth my evening while having a lighthearted conversation with my friend. A group of teenagers reaches where we are hanging out and one of them asks something from the seller in a lower voice. In response, he shakes his head and tells something quickly. It’s more like he is just refusing something. The teenagers look barely eighteen.
“They are asking for adult stuff, sir,” He breaks the mystery without any invitation.
“It’s a good thing you didn’t give them any. It’s obvious that they are minors.” My student appreciates him for his considerate nature.
“Minor or not, I never sell them here. It’s just not my thing. If I sold them, these kids would begin to follow girls and get themselves in trouble. But if they watched WWE, at least they would hit the gym.”
Even if his thought process looked simple, I can clearly sense the importance of his words. Though I’m not mature, I’m also a teacher and I’ve seen many bright students get wasted trying to surpass their limits.
“So, why did you lower the price of your stuff?” I ask him after spotting the “50 rupees only” sign hanging above his pile of DVDs.
“Well, the people in this area have shown me so much kindness so far. So, in return, I thought to decrease the price by 10 rupees.” He says things half in jest. Maybe it’s just a business strategy but I really want to believe his words.
“By the way, sir, what’s in the file?” He looks at the clear bag I’m holding. There are posters I got printed for advertising my tuition gigs.
“Ah! Those are tuition-related advertisements.” I get one outside and give it to him.
He scans the leaflet for a moment and returns it.
“So, what are you gonna do with them?” He asks with genuine interest.
“Well, it’s not that complicated. Most of the time I stick them on a few selected surfaces where people get to see them.”
“Why don’t you hire someone to deliver them among people. Don’t you think that it’s more effective?”
To be honest, I’ve had this conversation with people since the day I started tutoring.
“I hardly think so. Besides, who could guarantee that the one I hired is going to do his job as I expected? He might throw the papers away right after I paid him and got out of his sight. I can’t watch him all day after all.”
He gives my clear bag one more thoughtful look.
“How many are there, anyway?”
“About a hundred.” I really don’t understand where this is going to go.
“You could give me that. I get to interact with many people on a daily basis so, probably there are going to be a few who are interested in your services.”
I wonder why it didn’t cross my mind before. I’m utterly convinced that this guy is trustworthy.
I express my genuine desire to work with him but moments later, I want to take my word back since he refuses to accept any compensation.
“We both know I can’t agree to that, uncle, no doubt you are generous but I can’t make my mind to accept such favors from you. After all, you’ve been through a lot for all these years.”
Once again, a smile crosses his face spontaneously. “Don’t worry about that. I’m on this sidewalk 24/7. Therefore, it doesn’t cost me something extra to hand a piece of paper to someone who passes by.”
I’m quite overwhelmed by his gesture. I count fifty posters and give them to him. I can’t make my mind to bother him with the entire bundle.
It’s been a year since our family settled in the city and a lot of external aspects related to my life have changed. Having been a newbie to the business and a stranger to the city, I’m totally satisfied with the level my tutoring career has reached within a year. Tutoring sessions and college stuff keep me busy all the time and my mental health conditions give me a pretty hard time when it comes to juggling both things. Burnouts have become a regular thing and I’ve temporarily quit medication since it keeps me in a sedated state when I’m on them.
These circumstances prevent me from visiting my friend frequently as I used to do but still I try my best to purchase something from him at least once a month. However, when I cross the town, unconsciously I always tend to check whether he is in his usual spot even if I didn’t get to talk to him. Maybe my fondness for the movies and their seller causes that.
It’s 2017 and the whole world has been anticipating the release of the action thriller John Wick: Chapter 2. As usual, I miss the screenings in the theatres and looking forward to getting my hand on a good copy of the movie. It’s May and four months have passed since the release of the movie.
One evening, when I’m heading home after work, I go to his corner of the sidewalk looking for him. But he is not there and surprisingly, it’s a Sunday. People like him barely miss doing business at weekends because that’s when they can sell more items. However, a busy week is ahead of me and that means I’m going to have to hit the city more often. Eventually, I’ll have the chance to see him.
For the next few weeks, I keep looking for him but strangely, there is no sign of him. I even ask about him from the nearby stores and they don’t even have any clue about his absence. I curse myself for never saving his number on my phone.
Is something wrong? Or has he quit his movie-selling job for something more profitable?
I cook various scenarios in my head.
Fortunately, my worrying ends in the next week.
I’m on my way back to the city center after visiting one of my teachers in the hospital. It’s about 10 AM in the morning but despite the cool weather, I begin to feel thirsty. I’ve decided to take a few days off for the sake of my mental health. Sometimes, it’s pretty difficult to function without the pills. But when I’m on medication, I merely do anything rather than lying on my back most of the day.
I walk into the restaurant, order a chocolate milkshake, and sit at my usual table. From where I’m sitting I can see the spot where my friend does his business. Even today he is not there and I haven’t bought the movie from anyone else either. I have the rest of my life ahead if I need to watch John Wick 2. But I want him to receive that small amount of money I’m willing to spend on that.
“Where has this guy disappeared to?” I silently ask myself. Someone puts my order on the table but still, I’m lost in my thoughts.
“I think young people shouldn't do this much overthinking.” A familiar voice brings me back to my senses. I look at the lady who just brought my milkshake. That’s when I recognize her.
“How are you doing, sir? Long time no see.” She sits on the chair opposite mine.
Honestly, I feel so glad to see her. Sometimes, there is no better way to unwind rather than having some female companionship. Her glittering eyes make me think that she is pleased to see me too.
“Rashmi, what are you doing here?” I don’t want to hide my surprise. I rest my eyes on this extremely attractive lady who makes me feel at ease every time I’m with her. Having been a shy person, I wonder what magic she works on me. Maybe that’s because she is older than me in two or three years. For the record, I’m 26 at the time.
“Oh! I never had the chance to tell you before. This place belongs to my uncle. He and most of his crew have attended a wedding today. So, he wanted me to take care of business for one day.”
“Well, that’s news to me.” I take a few sips from the shake.
“And, sir, I almost forgot. Last week I received my IELTS results. Guess what? I had nailed it.”
I honestly feel happy for her. But I do my best to remain stoic.
“Actually, it barely surprises me and I tell the same I used to tell before even today. Even before I started doing classes for you, your English was pretty good. But there was this irrational fear that made you think that you wouldn’t be able to go through IELTS on your own. However, as a teacher, you can’t even imagine how happy I am to hear the news.”
She smiles and looks at my half-finished drink. “Tell me if you feel like trying one more drink. And it’s on the house.”
“Thanks. But I’m done for today.” With few more sips, I finish the stuff in the glass.
“So, do you come here often?” She asks looking into my eyes.
“Of course, this is where I dine when I’m unable to hit home for meals in the day.”
“Too bad.” She gives me a teasing look. “If my uncle had known that you are my teacher, he would never have charged you.”
“Do you want your uncle to go bankrupt?”
She laughs it off and waves to a small child who just entered the restaurant.
“Truly, sir, what were you thinking before I got here?” The seriousness of her tone catches me off guard. “Are you still off your medication?”
“Actually, it’s not something about that. Have you ever seen the guy who sells DVDs in front of this place?”
“What about him?” She doesn’t show any special interest.
“Well, I didn’t see him for a while. It’s been about a month but nobody knows why he isn’t here anymore.”
“Well, people have their own reasons.” She says leaning on the chair. “Besides, this is not stone age. Do some digging and you’ll find out something.”
I sense something unnatural. Usually, this is not the woman who takes things too lightly. She is rather the person who does everything in her power to make others feel better.
I observe her face very carefully. I don’t like reading people and I’m not good at it either. But in this case, I feel that she is trying to hide something.
We stare at each other for a few moments and I feel my mouth takes the shape of a silly smile. In the end, she gives up and burst into laughter. And I need no further invitation to join her.
“Okay. I give up.” Finally, she begins to talk dancing her eyes. “You are right. I know where he is at the moment and I know how to contact him. And I could tell you that right now but I need something in return.”
“Sure. What’s he up to?”
“Be patient, sir, let me finish.” She winks at me. “There is this newly open Chinese near the police station and the food is awesome. Promise me you are gonna join me for dinner tomorrow and you’ll get the information.”
Her request makes me cringe. Of course, I’d do anything to spend some quality time with her but stuff like dinner dates are out of my comfort zone.
“Deal. But on one condition.”
“And what’s that?” She raises her eyebrow. Maybe she thinks that I’m trying to figure out some way to avoid going on a date. After all, she knows well that it’s not my thing.
“From today onwards, please call me by name. I’d be eternally grateful.”
She gives me a look that says something like “please don’t show off your modesty.”
“So, can I take your word for that? And of course, I’ll remember your request.”
“Be my guest,” I say with hope.
She gets up and picks the empty glass on the table.
“Let me fetch him.”
“Fetch him? What do you mean?” I want to make sure what I heard is not wrong.
“He is in the kitchen helping the chef, my good sir,” She teases me.
I look at her in disbelief. Needless to say that I never saw that coming.
“Gotcha.” She says triumphantly after staring at me for a couple of seconds.
Later, after I got to meet him he lets me know what caused his absence. His business has been below average for the past few months and despite his wife being a self-employed seamstress, they’ve faced many difficulties when it comes to making the ends meet. Therefore, within the past four weeks he went AWOL, he has worked as a helper to a mason. But after that project ended he's found this temporary gig in the restaurant until he figures out something.
His words make absolute sense to me. Most of the people are getting used to downloading movies or using VOD to watch whatever they desire. Even I, myself have recently started to appreciate the Blu-ray format more.
“So, does this mean you are never gonna do the old thing again?”
His answer is quicker than I expected.
“I’m never gonna drop that thing, sir, after all, I’m a movie junkie myself and I love the community. But I won’t be able to do it often like before.
It’s July.
School students are about to have their second vacation of the year. And it’s the time my schedule begins to get tight. The unnecessary competitiveness of Sri Lankan education takes a toll on the childhood of most kids. It seems that parents, no offense but especially mothers have no intention of letting their kids have the time of their life at least for a few weeks. My phone rings from time to time parents wanting to schedule extra sessions for their kids. Of course, getting chances to make some money is good but getting to witness the pressured, weary faces of kids that silently relate the same story is something really saddening.
My degree program tends to cost me a lot of my free time. Besides, to meet its needs, finally, I have to give up on my 3G internet connection I’ve been using for five years and shift to 4G. I’ve waited this many years to do it since I have a moderate internet addiction. With the newly purchased 4G connection, I can’t resist this urge to download the movies with higher resolution. Even if it’s more expensive, my desire to buy DVD movie collections begins to dissipate.
Nowadays, my DVD-selling friend can be seen beside the sidewalk only in the evenings. He’s been working there for about a month now and it seems like his employers are going to make his temporary gig permanent. At least, that’s how it looks to me.
But soon I realize that my guess is entirely wrong.
One morning when I’m on a bus I suddenly see him on the sidewalk. Since his mornings are usually spent in the restaurant nowadays, it fuels my curiosity. I look at the other side to see whether the restaurant is closed but it’s also open. However, it takes me a few days to approach him regarding that. And for all those days, I see him on the sidewalk in the mornings just like in the past.
“Don’t you work at the restaurant anymore?”
Instantly, his face gets darker and I see the displeasure there.
“I quit, sir, felt that it wasn’t the right place for me.”
Even if he disliked the routine there, given his current condition I know that he is not going to let go of such a gig easily.
“Did something happen, uncle?”
He looks away and lets out a long sigh. “To be honest, there were complications since the beginning. And I tolerated them because I had no other option. But last week they really crossed the line.”
In the next few minutes, he tells me the whole story. He is not the kind of person who accuses anybody easily. So, it seems that his employer has taken him for granted.
He tells me patiently that he is going to do his usual thing until he finds something else.
“After all, once again I get to meet my old buddies.” He pats me on the shoulder and laughs. And I want to think that he is not faking this positivity.
If my memory serves me well, it was the last time I bought something from him.
Within the next few months, everything in my life takes a dramatic turn. Firstly, my mental health worsens. Therefore, to make more space for my college endeavors, I take a break from tutoring substituting another tutor for my ongoing classes. Yet it barely helps with my issues but I have no intention of going back to medication.
My trips to the city get limited. So are my visits to him. My fondness for movies with higher resolutions has taken me over.
Once a few months I see him and don’t forget to have a chat with him. When we talk about business, he tells me that it’s unwise to stick to the job any longer. Simply put, he doesn’t do well and business is extremely bad. There are some days he has to get satisfied with selling only three pieces. It’s just 150 rupees and it’s less than 1 USD.
(When I reflect on those days while writing this, I wonder why I didn’t bother to buy something from him even during my seldom visits. Although what he was selling was no longer my strong suit, at least I could have bought a thing or two for the sake of helping him. I want to think that it happened because my own issues kept me pretty distracted at that time. Not because of my recently developed interest in higher resolutions)
Every time he mentions those facts, I don’t forget to encourage him to find better employment. I also make sure to reassure him by telling that everything will be okay in the end. However, it breaks my heart to witness his once jovial demeanor eventually gets hidden in a poker face.
It’s the middle of 2018 and he is not in the city anymore. In the first week of the year, I have seen him once while crossing the town to visit a friend’s house. But after that, there is no sign of him. Even my father asks about him from time to time. I respond to him telling that the guy is doing something more profitable than selling movies. And at such times, I silently hope that my assumption is true.
I barely visit that restaurant either. After all, I’m always home so, I don’t have to go there necessarily. However, now the owner of the place knows who I am and during my seldom visits, he offers me fruit drinks free of charge against my will. At one time, I ask him whether he has heard something about his former employee or he has my friend’s number. At such moments, he quickly diverts the conversation giving me short, not-so-hopeful answers.
My days are boring but I get fewer burnouts nowadays. Since I don’t work anymore I don’t get the chance to meet new people like I used to. Some of my former students still urge me to continue classes but I feel like I’m not ready yet.
For the past few years, I’ve been active on this very commendable website which is an active listening platform. I have been fortunate enough to make very good overseas friends there and they are the ones who provide me with the empathy I crave when it comes to my issues.
Sometimes I can’t help but wonder why people who see us on a daily basis fail to notice our struggles while unseen strangers who are thousands of miles away manage to get what’s going with us so easily.
Sadly, I don’t have the exact answer for that either.
It’s February of 2020. I’m still in the woods but I feel like I’m walking towards the light from the darkness very slowly. Also, it’s the final year of my college and I kind of want this college stuff to end quickly. In fact, I have very little interest in the subject matter. I want to focus on my other interests as soon as I’m done with this.
My issues give me a really hard time. OCD, perfectionism, and analysis paralysis is a vicious combination. Somehow, I’ve been capable of managing my anxiety to a certain extent. But it still does the damage. I’ve been reading things and doing thorough research for the last six months. Now it’s obvious that my most recent psychiatrist has made a few misdiagnoses.
I’ve been engaging in tutoring again since last September. Now I teach mathematics also. It’s more challenging than teaching English but I really love it. After all, mathematics has been fascinating me since my childhood.
Tutoring helps me deal with the bitterness I get to experience in college. I’ve made good friends there but none of them know my medical condition. I hesitate to express it because I’m afraid their reaction would make me dislike them. Usually, what people see as the most helpful when it comes to my case doesn’t help me at all.
After a really long time, I’m back in the usual restaurant. I’ve come to the city looking for someone whom I can hire for a reasonable fee to deliver my leaflets. The government no longer allows sticking bills on usual surfaces for the sake of keeping the city clean. The very first person I talk to agree to do it for a really comfortable price. I feel a bit relaxed.
The owner is not to be seen and the cashier gets conversational while I’m awaiting my order. I’m kind of glad the owner is not present. Free milkshakes are a really kind gesture but most of the time it’s overwhelming and makes me uncomfortable.
“You know? Mrs. Rashmi moved to Canada with her husband.” The cashier says carefully looking at my face.
I feel indifferent. Due to the connection she and I had in the past, maybe he thinks that his words might affect me. But it’s quite the opposite.
Her marriage is news to me. To this day, I really cherish the memories I shared with her. She was so keen on taking our intimacy to next level despite knowing my struggles. But I didn’t want to add one more person to my pity party.
I can barely take care of myself. So, how am I supposed to take care of someone else?
I feel happy for her. Canada has always been her dream.
I finish my drink and step onto the street. I decide to walk home since I need a good workout.
Suddenly, I hear a loud clapping sound. I look around and immediately see the familiar face. He waves at me with a pleasant smile.
I cross the street ignoring the horns of annoyed drivers.
“Where the hell have you been, uncle?” I give him a firm handshake. Both of us are pleased to see each other. I’m seeing him after two years. He’s lost a few pounds but still has the same energy. For a moment, it feels like old times.
I’m eager to know what he’s been doing for the past two years. He describes everything to me in a calm manner.
As I guessed, he has been working under that mason. He says that he is a natural when it comes to things like cement mixing and bricklaying. Meanwhile, he has been fortunate enough to give his oldest profession a shot. Welding!
But unlike in the past, this time he has made sure to cover his eyes well. He casually says that he could successfully finish a few long-term gigs.
“I’m glad to hear that you are doing well.” I want him to feel the genuineness in my voice.
“It’s more like surviving, sir, but we are doing better than we used to do two years ago.”
I feel his words while I notice the pile of DVDs beside the sidewalk.
“So, are you back in business?” I ask him pointing at the movies.
“Well, I’ve run out of work recently. I started coming here again yesterday.”
I need no further explanation.
“So, did you have the chance to meet your old mates?” I want to divert our chat to more lighthearted stuff.
“I saw a few. But it seems like a lot of them are out of the city. I no longer get to see those regular faces in the morning.” He pauses for a moment.
“Anyway, what are you doing here, sir? Off to a tuition class?”
That’s when an idea about a good deal strikes my mind.
I tell him that I’ve been looking for someone who could deliver my leaflets. Also, I express my willingness to give this project to him. After all, I’ve not promised anything to the guy I talked to previously.
“Sure, I can help you with that. As I said earlier, I’m up to nothing important nowadays.”
I feel relieved. At last, once again I’m about to do something for him.
“There are about 500 hundred advertisements. Please tell me your charges.”
“That would be 2000 rupees, sir” His reply is quicker than I expected.
I can safely say that I’m not a miser but honestly I get taken aback by his rate. The person I talked to about an hour ago has agreed to do it for 1000. But I don’t let him know that. I have no intention of bargaining with my friend.
He begins to clarify things as if he read my mind.
“As you know, not every person who takes a bill from me is going to take it home. They’d just read and if they couldn’t find anything important, they’d just toss it away. If accidentally the municipal council noticed these papers on the streets, they are gonna come after me. Since your contact details are there in the leaflets, probably they won’t let you get away with it either. So, I have to try my best to pick up the papers again from the street and give them to someone else. It’s more tiresome than it looks, sir, plus I have to spend on lunch and other stuff too.”
His clarification sounds fairly reasonable. I grab the phone and ask for his number.
“The press would have made my stuff ready by next week. I’ll contact you as soon as everything is set.”
“I no longer use a phone, sir, accidentally drowned my last one in the water tank.” He laughs out loud.
“Then, how am I supposed to contact you?”
“Well, I’ll be here for the next few weeks. feel free to reach me once everything is ready.”
When I’m about to say good-bye to him, an adorable kid who is about six years old comes to us running. He is followed by his young mother who is carrying another toddler in her hands. He shows her a popular animated movie and pleads her to buy him that. She tries to calmly explain to her son that the money she brought to the city is almost finished and she’s got only the bus fare. But it looks like her son isn’t ready to give up sp easily.
For a minute, my friend watches the way the kid cutely does the demanding, and then, he picks up the DVD and put it on the kid’s hand.
“Here, this is from me to you.”
We say farewell to each other after chatting for half an hour. On my way home, I feel like I should offer him a tip like 500 hundred rupees for the gig.
But everything goes south when a global pandemic takes over my country. In a few days, Sri Lanka is under lockdown and a police curfew has been imposed. no one is allowed to go outside.
As promised, the press calls to let me know that my stuff is ready. But as both parties know, there's no way I can get there to receive them.
After about three months, the curfew is lifted, and eventually, the lockdown period comes to an end.
I get on the streets after a long time to catch a bus to travel the press. There are only a handful of passengers and all are wearing masks. They make sure to keep enough distance between two people.
The next day, I visit the city with a bundle of papers. Most of the places in the city have not opened yet after the lockdown. And almost every store that is open has installed a tap with soap and sanitizers in front of the place.
I visit the usual spot on the sidewalk but he is not there. Just as I expected. Even the small stalls and other shops around it remain closed.
I visit the next day. Then, the next day. And the next day too.
Pandemic has taken a toll on people who have a low income. I’m really worried about him. But there is no sign of him.
For the past four months, I’ve been walking to the town on a daily basis. I no longer carry the pile of leaflets with me. Firstly, I want to make sure he is doing okay. Business can wait.
As usual, nobody has any idea what’s going on with him. The owner of the nearby foodstall has told me where he lives but he also doesn’t know the exact place.
“All I know is his family lives about a mile away from the main road. That’s all he’s told us. It’s like finding a needle in a haystack. Take my word, son, be patient, and wait.”
The owner of the stall kindly tells me when I tell him good-bye.
The pile of posters sits at a corner of my closet awaiting its turn.
