Grace is a matter of perception
Are you looking to blame or looking for grace?
As a Salvation Army Officer, I hear many stories. The way that people tell their stories reveals whether they have a tendency to look to blame, or a tendency to look for grace. A person who looks to blame may experience a similar event to a person who looks for grace, yet perceive it differently. For example, a woman told me this week that many years ago, she experienced a life-threatening haemorrhage. She was living in a country town at the time and her husband was responsible for driving a taxi. One day he received a call to pick up several bags of blood and take them to the hospital. He went immediately, unaware that the person who would benefit from the delivery was his wife. ‘Just in time,’ a nurse said. ‘Five minutes more and it could have been too late.’
A person who looks to blame may be angry at God for allowing them to experience such a life-threatening incident, while they were young and responsible for a family. If the haemorrhage was the result of an accident or human error, they may blame the person(s) involved. Another person will see grace within the same situation. Grace in the timing of the response. Grace in the sparing of life. This story is an extreme example, but each of us are faced with a similar choice each day: to look to blame or look for grace.
Looking to blame arises from the belief that God, or the world, owes us. When we don’t receive what we believe we are entitled to, it leads to anger and dissatisfaction. Looking for grace arises from a belief that all good things are a gift. We are not entitled to them but we can receive and delight in them. Such an attitude leads to contentment and gratitude. In writing of our daughter’s illness and death, in Fingerprints of Grace, I was struck by the countless moments of mercy. The kindness of health professionals. The love of family. The generosity of friends. The presence of God, demonstrated in tangible ways.
A recent Medium post by Thomas Oppong, The Life Changing Habit of Journalling (Why Einstein, Leonardo Da Vinci and many other great minds recommended it) comments on the benefit of gratitude journalling. He writes, ‘Gratitude journalling is a scientifically proven way to overcome several psychological challenges. It will change your life orientation from scarcity to abundance.’ If you have a tendency to look to blame, this may be a good place to start. At the end of each day, take time to be silent. Walk through the day in your mind and identify experiences, people, moments for which you are grateful. Write down three. As you continue to practise this, you find your list becomes longer. You will begin to notice moments of grace as they happen, not just on reflection. For me, reflecting on the day in this way is a type of prayer. If you don’t have a relationship with God, you may consider it as a form of meditation. If we are intentional in looking for grace, we will see it.
Fingerprints of Grace is available from www.koorong.com.au and www.salvationarmy.com.au/supplies
