Gracious Gratitude
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Gracious Gratitude

Day 373

One of those days…

Today was just one of those days that came out sideways. Chalk it up to the power going out in my house at about 4am. A fact I knew merely because the air conditioning ceased with a gasp, the ceiling fan rotating slowly to a stop and the heat thickening around me. It was out for about an hour because just before my alarm went off at 5am, the AC coughed back into action, the delicious chill wafting across my skin.

The last thing I wanted to do was get out of bed. I remembered the last power outage — a Saturday night thunderstorm rattled my house and clipped off the power. I’d come home late and was just settling down to meditate surrounded by my dogs … including Truman. It was he I worried about most with the heat. His coat being the most wooly and thick. He being older and occasionally troubled by excessive heat. I wrapped cool washclothes around all their paws, especially Truman’s, and rubbed their bellies with cool water and we rested together on the tile floor until the power came back on.

In the wee hours today I felt hot tears streaming down my face as I lay in the dark, missing the tell-tale thump on the floor of his ridiculously skinny tail — a tail that looked mismatched with his hulking, shaggy frame.

Keeping busy. That’s what I had to do. So a series of complex to-do lists complementing a moderately filled day of appointments. If I was busy I didn’t have to dip into my sadness. If I was busy I didn’t have to feel. Despite myriad attempts to shove the day back on the rails today, the Universe seemed hell bent on slowing me down enough to steep in the pain.

One appointment ran long, making me miss one appointment. Studying the calendar I saw a gap — which confused me because I recalled there had been something … what was it … during that gap. No matter, it wasn’t there and my brain hasn’t really been entirely on point in the last weeks anyway so I probably had mistaken today for another. Returning from the errand, I found that the person I was to have met had come by … looking back at the calendar I saw the flaw — I had been looking at the wrong day.

I’d focus on the to-do errands, then. That I could control. That could give me focus. Off to Lowe’s and an hour later, cart filled with all the necessary items for a few work projects, I reached in my bag for my wallet. It wasn’t there. Back to the car. It wasn’t there either. Shit. I must have left it on my desk. Back to the office, searched everywhere, dumping my computer bag, clearing off my desk. Nothing. Back to the car, I tossed back the throw nestled on the front seat for Bridger. There it sat. How it got under the blanket, I don’t know.

It was suggested a bit later by a friend that I avoid operating heavy machinery and sharp objects. I’m guessing that would include the hand saw I purchased at Lowe’s to trim some palms in my yard. Probably best I do that tomorrow, after some rest.

Today’s Gracious Gratitude. I am grateful for:

  • Having the ability to see messages that are being delivered to me
  • Being able to laugh at myself when I ignore those messages and things go sideways
  • Having made monumental progress as a manager and feeling proud of my work
  • The look on Harlow’s face when she realizes that because she’s the only one of my dogs in the kitchen while I’m doing the dishes, she’s the only one who’s going to get a little piece of salmon stuck to the side of the baking dish
  • Inigo’s face when he’s been sleeping and sits up and all his hair is mashed down on one side
  • That my first two days without processed sugar or cookies haven’t been too bad
  • Quinoa salad

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Cathy Brooks

Cathy Brooks

Raconteur and Silicon Valley expat who’s gone to the dogs … literally. Read more here https://www.linkedin.com/public-profile/in/cathybrooks