Day 379
An Historic Marker
Yesterday I spoke about the memories to which Facebook’s “On this Day” gives rise. On any given day the memory of what transpired on that date one, two, five or even 10 years prior can be equal parts amusement and horror. When one is in grief the recollection can come like sandpaper over a freshly formed scab, shearing off any semblance of protection, laying bare to the tender, pink flesh underneath.
And so it goes …
Today’s moments of delights interspersed with reminders ranging from bittersweet and tender to eviscerating and raw. This morning, a friend from lifetimes ago, not that long in the chronological sense (we determined that our connection dated back to around 2006 or so), but centuries of change and growth. Paula Gould was in town for a conference. When she lived in LA we saw each other all the time. Now that she’s based in Iceland it’s been about 8 years since last we laid eyes on each other in actual live person form. In between, however, the threads of Facebook stitch together our lives — giving us insight and updates on the general happenings.
We’d planned to meet up for lunch. She getting to come to see Hydrant Club in person and a quick wander around Downtown. It was great to catch up. It was great to chat about the evolution of our respective lives. Best of all though, was the hug. When I had shared the news of Truman’s passing weeks ago, Paula was among the first to reach out. She knew Truman. She knew him well. She knew him from the first years he and I were together, traipsing to conferences and around to meetings in San Francisco and LA. She knew him when he and I stayed at a mutual friend’s house in LA — a party pad where the buddy threw parties, often. Hearing the news the first thing she wanted to do, she said, was give me a hug.
Human touch is hard right now though of course it’s the thing that my tattered soul desires most. When there’s no human touch I can relate the story of Truman’s passing with nary a tear. Matter-of-fact without being cold, thoughtful without too much emotion. Let the person to whom I’m speaking hug me, and all bets are off.
Lots of discussions about grief too and the varying experiences people have. Fascinating.
In today’s “On this Day” a reminder of what Hydrant Club looked like 5 years ago … just days before the asphalt munchers came through, tearing up the parking lot and beginning the journey that would give birth to my urban oasis. In that photo, Truman. We were wandering up Fremont Street early in the morning. I’d just snared a cup of coffee from The Beat Coffee Shop and we were exploring our way around the DTLV footprint. Truman trotted ahead of me and the sun cascaded behind him, just so. Today that same angle is verdant green and the pawprints of my magical Truman ever present in the concrete by the doorway to the garden he helped me build.


Today’s Gracious Gratitude. I am grateful for:
- Memories that make me smile through tears
- Friends who weep with you rather than forcing Kleenex into your hands and attempting to stop the tears
- Seeing old friends and having it feel as though no time has passed
- The softening of grief, for today
- Smoothies
- Being calm in the face of challenges that used to send me reeling
- That feeling the day after a workout where I know that tomorrow is going to really hurt in a delicious way
- Making plans to do fun things with people I love
- Bananas

