Gracious Gratitude
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Gracious Gratitude

Day 979

Panic

So, I don’t feel well.

This has happened a few times in the last 6–7 weeks of this pandemic. A moment where I feel like I have the start of a scratchy throat and maybe fever. That I feel rundown, just exhausted and physically sore. A low grade headache persists despite hydration and ibuprofen. I shove my nose into flowers and other things to make sure I can smell. I can. I shove food in my mouth to make sure I still can taste. I can.

Turns out each time it was allergies, or just being worn down physically, emotionally and spiritually. A hot shower, good meal, cup of tea and good night’s sleep and the next day — right as rain.

Today, though, I had to go to a doctor’s appointment. It’s for something with my hand/wrist that’s been painful and after delaying and delaying the trip so as to avoid any medical office, I went.

Protocol was precisely what I’d expected. Markings on the ground where each person was to stand. Holding us at the door to take temperatures and then admitting one at a time. My turn came and I stepped up. The woman put a plastic cover on the thermometer and stuck it in my ear.

A moment.

A beep.

She looked at it. Paused. “Hmmm … 99.3”

I felt my heart stop. Was she going to send me away? No. Their door sign said that temps of 100.4 or higher were the threshhold.

Did I feel sick? No. Well, maybe. The headache returned, I began to feel a scratchy throat and now as I sit at home ready to eat dinner I panic. Will I be able to taste it?

I know that I’m fine. I’m under an enormous amount of stress and not really taking as good care of myself as I should. I’m eating and sleeping and drinking enough water, but I am not even nearly tending to my emotional and spiritual health as I should.

Guess I better get on that.

Today’s Gracious Gratitude. I am grateful for:

  • Gardening
  • My dogs
  • Going to the Farmer’s Market and seeing a friend and feeling hugged by eyes over a mask
  • Arugula and spinach, together
  • Fresh avocado
  • The scent of star jasmine
  • Warm nights

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There are studies that show a simple practice of gratitude awareness can be a real game changer for productivity.

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Cathy Brooks

Cathy Brooks

Raconteur and Silicon Valley expat who’s gone to the dogs … literally. Read more here https://www.linkedin.com/public-profile/in/cathybrooks

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