The FSM Metric (A Producer’s Secret Weapon)

Disrupters like big data, crowdsourcing, proactive analytics, and (of course) progress march with merciless intent. Your agency’s lunch is all but eaten. The wolves are howling at your door. Eek?! Be not afraid. Do not go gently into that dark night. Hey. You seem pretty calm, actually. Spare some Zoloft?

So. What’s standing between the ad agency model and total oblivion? Drum Roll. It’s the Flingshot Screaming Monkey.

Surprised?! Don’t be. The Flingshot Screaming Monkey will deftly slice through your team’s despair and frustration. Like a Hattori Hanzo sword though a Crazy 88. No joke.

The Flingshot Screaming Monkey is THE secret weapon of choice for every successful agency team lead on the planet. Didn’t know? Well, you do now.

• When Code refuses to compile.
• When Analytics predict non-existent trends.
• When Projects are canceled after 25,000 woo bucks are spent.
• When ROI is in the toilet
• When Git gets conflicted. She’s testy that one.
• When Clients fall out of love (after that 978th creative revision).

Who is there to pick up the pieces of your shattered team? Thanks the gods. The Flingshot Screaming Monkey is ready and willing to save your bacon.

How do you wield such an awesome piece of kit? Well, I’ll tell you. It’s quite simple, really.

1. Hastily string together a torrent of curse words (at generous volume).
2. Grab the nearest Flingshot Screaming Monkey (on your desk).
3. Angrily hurl your beloved monkey at the nearest glass wall. (Shouldn’t be hard to find. You work in an ad agency, right?!)
4. Upon impact, bask in the sonic supernova of 100% pure Flingshot Screaming Monkey bliss.

Instantly, you and your team are restored. And, most importantly, ready to bang your heads against the wall just one more time.

Fact 1: 55% of Team Leads prefer the Flingshot Screaming Monkey