13 Questions: NBA Off-Season Homestretch Edition.

Grandstand Staff
Aug 29, 2017 · 10 min read

With training camp less than a month away, our NBA experts came together to take stock of what in god’s name happened this off-season and to answer some of the more pressing questions that still remain unresolved, as the countdown to basketball begins.

1) What was the most over-hyped story of the off-season?

Dan Szczepanek: It’s a tie between the Lakers and 76ers for ‘Historic Franchise Lost in the Woods For a Decade Re-Emerges as a Superpower’. As shiny as the rookies are, these are two franchises who have averaged 21 wins apiece over the last four years.

Nikhil Helferty: Ditto. I love savant passers, which is by all accounts what Lonzo Ball is; but he’s still a rookie surrounded by terrible teammates and ludicrously high expectations, along with a highly suspect shot release. As for all the LeBron-to-the-Lakers hype, LeBron’s two free agent moves in the past have been as much about going places where he could win as they were about playing with his friends or in his home state — colour me skeptical. As for the 76ers, the centerpiece of their rebuild is a brilliant (and lovable) 7-footer that we’re apparently just assuming will magically stay healthy after having been completely unable to do so at any point in his NBA career so far. Lest you think it’s unfair for me to say “career” for someone this young — did you know Joel Embiid is 9 months older than Giannis Antetokounmpo?

Gord Randall: LeBron/Kyrie beef. Glad that’s over.

Steve Lam: Jimmy Butler’s phone number. Tried calling him multiple times and got nothing.

2) Which off-season move that nobody’s talking about right now will have the most impact this season?

Dan: D’Angelo’s fresh start with the Nets. Sure he’s a snitch, but he’s a snitch that dropped 40 on the Cavs in a game where Russell’s supporting cast included David Nwaba playing 22 meaningful minutes. Now that he’s free from Kobe’s La La Land shadow, things are going to click for Russell, turning the Nets into a dark-horse contender for the 8th seed.

Gord: Keeping Jrue Holiday. They’re in the West so it won’t matter, but I still say Boogie and the Brow start to click and make the Pelicans fun. (The most underrated team brand in the Association, by the way).

Nikhil: The Raptors letting Patrick Patterson go because of the cap crunch, and the Thunder pouncing to sign him to a very good deal. Patterson, despite coming off the bench, has been a constant in all of the Raptors’ best lineups through their surprise renaissance (it remains baffling that Casey has refused to start him, but that’s one of many baffling Casey decisions). Meanwhile he will fit in perfectly with the Thunder next to Westbrook and George — a floor-spacer (if streaky) and mobile defender at the 4 who doesn’t need the ball in his hands.

Steve: The Raptors losing PJ Tucker. Sacrificing a swingman who can’t really shoot and has never seen the playoffs outside of last year is gonna hurt the North baaaaaaaad.

3) How will the NBA punish the Lakers for the alleged Paul George tampering?

Dan: They’ll force the Lakers to re-hire Phil Jackson, and make Lonzo learn the triangle.

Steve Lam: They’ll make Magic form a Big 3 team called the ‘Busty Celtics’ with Jared Sullinger and Popeye Jones.

Gord Randall: They’ll force Kobe out of retirement to take approximately 60 shots a game, completely stunting the development of any of their young guys on the way to an 18–64 season.

Nikhil Helferty: They won’t. Everyone talks to players on the side, and even with his inexperience, you would assume Magic and crew knew enough to not leave a paper trail while talking to George. The NBA has to make the appearance of a best effort due to the Pacers’ (somewhat ridiculous) request, but they have little interest in any way of impeding the rebuild of its most famous franchise. At worst I would expect a monetary fine with a finger wag.

4) Finish this sentence: Kawhi Leonard’s newfound ability to smile makes me…

Dan: Wonder if ‘smiling Kawhi’ is like how Dragon Ball Z characters go blonde when they turn Super Saiyan.

Steve: Think that maybe he doesn’t like his teeth? He must have figured that he could laugh and smile freely in China, without photos of said smile being posted online, because, China.

Gord: I care about nothing south of Kawhi’s hairline.

Nikhil: Happy?

5) Who made the worst trade of Summer ’17?

Dan: Whether or not Ainge gets further squeezed by the Cavs, I’m going with the Kyrie deal. Ainge’s reluctance/ inability to pull the trigger earlier meant giving up an All-Star point guard, a severely underrated Crowder, and a pick that probably held more value at the beginning of this off-season anyway. Yes, he gets a superstar in Kyrie. But if he struck earlier, there’s a chance he could have gotten one that made more sense for this team, while still holding onto his own.

Nikhil: Amazingly, the Pacers somehow don’t get this honour for their Oladipo-Sabonis “package” thanks to Chicago swooping in and trading two years of Jimmy Butler for an all-offense dunker with a torn ACL, an old-ass second-year point guard coming off a dismal rookie season, and a swap (not even outright!) up to the 7th pick in the draft. You could argue the Oladipo-Sabonis package is better even without accounting for the fact that it’s for an apparent rental, you could even argue the Clippers made out better trading someone who would otherwise leave them as a free agent! That they further compounded their mistakes by using said 7th pick on Lauri Markkanen (which already looks like a reach) and then selling the 38th pick to the effing Warriors for money only seals the deal.

Gord: Still the Nets trading for the decrepit carcasses of KG and Paul Pierce. (Relevant because that’s where the pick in the Kyrie trade came from. Also, why are you giving BOSTON of all places a deal like that? Those slimy fans burn jerseys of athletes who leave because they are traded, and who they LIKED. They’re the worst fans in America, and they keep getting winners.)

Steve: I was going to say the Dwight Howard — Bellini/Plumlee trade but then I realized it was the wrong Plumlee so I don’t care anymore. Mason 4 Life.

6) The ‘Danny Ainge Could Have Acquired a Superstar But Ultimately Didn’t’ Award For Almost Excellence’ goes to…

Dan: Danny Ainge, for his non-acquisition of Jimmy Butler.

Nikhil: It’d be fun to pick Ainge here, but I’ll give him a pass since he did manage to land Gordon Hayward and perhaps thought the Bulls and Pacers were joking when they told him what they were going to take instead. I’ll go with the Spurs, who in the face of the Warriors juggernaut and all the other West teams improving seemed to get worse after Plan A — Chris Paul — didn’t work out, and then letting Jonathan Simmons walk for a bafflingly low price.

Gord: This award perpetually goes to the Toronto Raptors, until such time that Drake whores himself enough to convince a superstar to come North of the line.

Steve: The Pacers. What the hell happened to this team? What was once a rising team in the steaming pile that is the East may actually win less games than the Sixers.

7) Carmelo Anthony is destined to…

Dan: Quit basketball and partner with Netflix on a Hoodie Melo Defender’s spin-off.

Gord: Always be the guy picked after LeBron. Also likely to serve time for the death of Phil Jackson.

Steve: Is anyone in the league more mellow than Melo? I can’t even tell if he likes playing basketball anymore. The only thing he seems interested in these days is finishing losing games as quickly as possible and running to his locker to pick a hat for the inevitable post-game interview, where he‘s forced to answer the same shit over and over again — why do you and your team suck so much all of the time and forever?

Nikhil: I’ll be optimistic and say that he’ll end up on a contender eventually — maybe the Cavs via buyout — and has a renaissance as a gunning 3rd option, if only because the alternative of continued irrelevance into his mid-30s bums me out.

8) The most off-season-y of off-season storylines was…

Dan: Learning that a whole class of elementary school kids now believe the earth is flat, thanks to Kyrie.

Gord: HAS to be Steph Curry playing in that web.com tour event.

Steve: Zach Randolph allegedly selling pot on the corner, while carrying. Seemed like the most unnecessary thing to happen, ever.

Nikhil: I’ll go with Steph’s unsettlingly accurate imitation of LeBron’s hype-up workout videos.

9) The Joni Mitchell, ‘You’d Don’t Know What You’ve Got ’Til It’s Gone’ award goes to:

Dan: The Spurs letting Jonathan Simmons walk.

Gord: Vancouver basketball fans? No? In that case, Danny Ainge for dumping a guy that was destined to be the next career Boston fan-favourite AS WELL AS A LIKELY TOP 3 PICK IN A LOADED DRAFT for a malcontent wanting to be the show. I mean, IT only suited up for the team the day after his freaking sister died! Incredible.

Steve: Celtics losing Jae Crowder.

Nikhil: Raptors/Patterson works here as well, but since I said that already I’ll go with the Wolves swapping Ricky Rubio for a lottery-protected 1st rounder and then signing Jeff Teague for 57 million over the next three years. I’d rather just have Rubio.

10) The most passive-aggressive (But actually aggressive enough that Even Skip Bayless understands it) subtweet goes to:

Dan: LeBron for his workout tape series.

Gord: …What’s a subtweet? (Follow me on Twitter @GARandall, I’m pretty good at it.)

Nikhil:

Steve: Joel Embiid’s entire Twitter account.

11) Which coach would be smart to put his home on the market before training camp kicks off?

Dan: God I hope Dwayne Casey. I don’t think there’s ever been a bigger disconnect between the amount of respect I have for a person as a human being, and the complete hatred I have for a person as a professional coach. I pray the man wins the Powerball, moves to a private island, and never ‘draws up’ an iso play for the rest of his life.

Gord: Knicks jokes are too easy here, so I’ll go with Doc Rivers, who should want out of dodge before the rest of it falls apart.

Nikhil: Casey’s positively Rasputin-like ability to survive his team perennially underachieving in the playoffs in embarrassing new ways is intact, and I doubt Raptors’ management wants to pay out two full years of his contract after unnecessarily giving him a contract extension for 2016’s fool’s gold conference finals run. My guess is he survives another playoffs run at least, despite Masai Ujiri’s talk of a needed “culture reset”. So I’ll go with Alvin Gentry, who I’m skeptical can make the awkward Boogie-Brow pairing work, particularly with such a thin supporting cast. It’s playoffs-or-bust for Gentry and the Pelicans, and with Denver and Minnesota on the rise after star acquisitions and most of last year’s playoff teams still entrenched (and some improved to boot, like the Rockets and Thunder) it’s difficult to see a path to the playoffs for them.

Steve: Dwayne Casey.

12) Which player made the worst use of their time this off-season?

Dan: JR Smith, and his newfound desire to keep his shirt on.

Steve: Bruno Caboclo just bricking 3's at amusement parks. Although I’m not sure if he’s eligible, since he’s never really had an ‘on-season’.

Gord: Dennis Rodman, who has the ability to spare us all from nuclear annihilation, and instead, is doing a speaking tour??? Selfish.

Nikhil: Kyrie, who apparently looked at his perfect situation where he can ball-hog and take crunch-time shots with impunity while not playing defense and waltzing to the Finals each year and said “no thanks”. He’s lucky he got traded to the Celtics*.

13) Which team turned the corner the most this off-season?

Dan: The sexy picks are the Wolves and Thunder, so I’m going to go with the Sacramento Kings. They didn’t do anything horribly Kings-like (which in-and-of-itself might qualify them for this honour), and then followed that up with a stellar draft and a solid amassing of leadership-oriented vets to bring the kiddies along.

Gord: My adopted favourite team (as of last year), the T-Wolves. They may still barely make the playoffs, but hell will they be fun. The Sixers will jump too, but only because the East is epic trash.

Steve: I’ll pick the sexy one and that’s the Wolves. This team has been mightily under-performing, so the leap they’ll make this season will be appear to be massive, even if they go barely north of .500.

Nikhil: Yeah, count me in for the Wolves. I may not have loved the Rubio trade — or the Jamal Crawford signing for that matter — but even worst-case it’s hardly bad enough to offset the Butler heist. This should be the year they make the leap from “bad but exciting” to “Warriors playoff roadkill”. The Thunder made great moves but it’s tough to give it to them with most feeling George is a rental — and with Westbrook still mulling over the massive extension, despite his history of knee injuries (not that he appears to be any worse for the wear). There are plenty of other contenders — the Nuggets grabbing Millsap, the Rockets swinging big with Chris Paul, the Celtics finally getting a free agent star and an extra future lottery pick trading down (even if I don’t love the subsequent Irving trade) — but nothing has me more excited than seeing what the new look Wolves can do.

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