Putting An End to the Ibaka Birther Movement.

‘I was not born in the jungle.’

Of all the strange, curious, jaw-dropping things a pro athlete can say (see Irving, Kyrie re: World’s flatness), Serge Ibaka’s comments stand out. Ibaka was responding to a shadowy movement that’s operates under the protection of ‘anonymous sources’, rearing its ugly head from time to time, in what can only be described as a racist-y kind of way.

Just like that guy who used to be President, Ibaka’s been plagued by asinine and unfounded claims that he lied about his birth certificate.

The Ibaka Birther Theory goes something like this:

Ibaka comes from Africa.

Africa=Bad.

Ergo, Ibaka=Bad.

That heinous logic led to the belief by several front office executives currently employed by the NBA that Ibaka lied about his age when he came to North America, in order to maximize his earning potential and milk every last dime he could out of the poor, blue-collar, financially-strapped NBA owners who only wanted to give greedy, greedy Ibaka a chance to pursue the American Dream.

Now the best (and by best, I mean soul-cripplingly worst) part about this rumour is the fact that these Birthers can’t point to a single piece of credible evidence to back up their dickish (and did I mention racist-y yet?) claims. So while Curry was busy widening his driveway to fit all the Golden State moneytrucks at once, and Westbrook checked himself in for some pre-Paul-George-Feud couples counselling, Ibaka and his team had to sit down, and give the NBA a geography lesson on his birthplace of Brazzaville, Republic of Congo.

As Ibaka points out so elegantly, Brazzaville is is no way the underdeveloped jungle terrain that his critics suggest. It’s a city with a population three times that of Cleveland (Where’s the Steph Curry birth certificate outcry? There’s no way he’s a day over 15!) and has boring things like hospitals, roads, and an overwhelmingly large and complex government bureaucracy. So no, Ibaka didn’t get himself a piece of paper and a crayon and draw himself a fake id.

But sadly, that denial won’t be enough. Critics will point to the timing of the letter as evidence that Ibaka was only saying it to guarantee his next big free agent payday. (Which of course ignores the fact that Raptors’ President Masai Ujiri is Nigerian, runs NBA camps in Africa, is in a documentary about those camps, and is arguably as familiar with the continent as any NBA executive. If he trusts the accuracy of Ibaka’s age, we should probably just defer to his sound judgement.)

But if you’ve read all that, and are still itching to make the ‘Ibaka’s 46' joke, we’ve decided to do our part, and deconstruct some of the so-called ‘evidence’ of Ibaka’s alleged ‘fraud’. (Note: We may run out of air quotes).

‘Exhibit A’: Ibaka’s Game Isn’t Ageing Well.

Conventional wisdom tells us that a player’s peak age is 27. This drives a lot of the Ibaka Birther hysteria, as people point to the fact that Ibaka just turned 27, and yet, is already several years removed from his three-year stretch on the NBA’s All-Defensive Team.

And while there’s no debating Ibaka’s decline since that dominant run with the Thunder, the ‘Age 27’ theory is a little misguided.

In a study that looked to find when a player peaks by comparing the Win Shares per season of 71 of the top players in NBA history, it was revealed that on average, 27 is a player’s best year. So the 27 thing isn’t crazy. But it’s not the whole story.

This study also shows that age is’t necessarily the most important factor, as service time seems to have just as much of an impact on peak performance. On average, it takes players five and a half years in the league before they reached their apex.

That means that on average, the best players in NBA history had their best season five years after entering the league, which happened to be at 27 years old.

The difference for Ibaka is that he entered the league at 20. Ibaka was right on time based on historical trends, as his peak season (so far) came in 2013–14, when he put up 9.6 Win Shares, as per Basketball Reference.

Looking at other players from Ibaka’s 2008 Draft Class, guys like Kevin Love, Danilo Gallinari, Brook Lopez and George Hill experienced a similar pattern and spike in their development, putting up their peak numbers right after accruing five years worth of NBA experience.

On top of this all, comparing Ibaka to ‘the rule’ about an athlete’s peak (which discounts things like injuries, minutes, usage rates, and role) is like comparing every 32-year old NBA player to LeBron James. And while LeBron was busy putting together one of the greatest statistical postseasons in NBA history, fellow 32 year-olds like Kendrick Perkins, Tiago Splitter, and Adam Morrison were all at home, bingeing the Full House Reboot and filling out applications for Chick-fil-A. And no, it’s not fair to compare every 32-year old player to the Superhuman that is LeBron. But using that same logic, it isn’t fair to compare Ibaka to what you think a 27 year-old should perform like, just because they share the same age.

Moving on.

‘Exhibit B’: Ibaka Looks…Old?

I mean, Ibaka still has shoulders the size of my head, and looks younger (and better) than most 27 year-olds I know, including myself. But I digress.

If you really want to play the age game, let’s look at some other players in the NBA that look deceptively different than what their birth certificates suggest.

First up is newly-signed Philadelphia 76er and human-embodiment of a Quiksilver logo, J.J. Redick.

While Redick appears young enough to get away with wearing board shorts to a business casual event, you might be surprised to learn that he’s already 33.

Next we have the latest member of the Indiana Pacers starting lineup/Generic-Eastern-European-Henchmen-in-a-Bond-Film, Bojan Bogdanovic.

You could tell me he’s 47 (or 34, and ravaged by vodka), and I wouldn’t bat an eye. But I’d be wrong! Bojan is a spry 28!

And last but not least, Mr. Swaggy Himself, Nick Young.

If you think that turning 30 prevents a person from constantly speaking about themselves in the third-person, you’d be wrong. Nick ‘Young’ is already 32.

What does this all mean? Not much.

Unless you’re a carnival worker whose livelihood depends on guessing peoples’ ages, you’re probably not qualified to make a definitive statement about Ibaka just by looking at him. On to the final piece of ‘evidence’.

‘Exhibit C’: Ibaka was born in Africa!

This is literally the only real link between Ibaka and any kind of wrongdoing. And by ‘link’ I of course mean a dated, offensive, ass-backwards view of the world where being affiliated with the word ‘Africa’ instantly makes you an untrustworthy human capable of gross deception and fraud.

And while a few Sherlockkk Holmes aficionados insist that this link is more than enough to justify their mistrust, it reveals something more telling about their own character than it does Ibaka’s.

As for those continuing to share this theory by quoting anonymous sources, this practice needs to stop. Either call out these anonymous sources for being crackpots, name the sources and let them try and defend their views out in the open, or start every mention of the theory with simple prefaces like ‘Despite there being no proof, Confederate-flag-waving anonymous sources within the league continue to hold these offensive views’.

Until this happens, there’s nothing Ibaka can do but deny the story. Sadly, he‘s stuck in a social media narrative that refuses to die, and continues to place the burden of proof on the accused. And all of that makes one thing clear: Whatever hypothetical, savage, ‘ jungle’ environment these anonymous sources think Ibaka was born in, it definitely pales in comparison to the ruthless Internet jungle he’s been forced to live with.