What is gratitude?

Gratitude is my north star. It has been for as long as I can remember.

Photo by Carlo Knell on Unsplash

Everyone — even the luckiest among us — faces challenges and difficulties from time to time. I faced my first challenge at the age of three when I had a stroke. Although I don’t remember it happening, this event shaped my life and helped to make me who I am. It also taught me that no matter how challenging, lonely, and scary the world may seem at times, there is good all around us. This, to me, is gratitude.

When my mom died in September 2003, I remember walking around on a nice fall day, thinking: “I’m too heart-broken to deserve such beautiful weather.” But we always deserve to experience the beauty and good that the world has to offer. No matter who we are or what we are going through, we are allowed to notice our blessings and feel grateful. Gratitude doesn’t hide or replace the pain, sorrow, or suffering, it helps us manage it.

When life presents us with illness, death, a job loss, family challenges, a pandemic, or other situations, gratitude can be difficult to locate. But finding reasons to be grateful — finding joy in the every day — can help us in more ways than we can imagine.

This is why today, November 1, is the start of my month of gratitude.

Now more than ever, we need to focus on and celebrate joy and happiness, love and gratitude. We need each other. So, here are some of initial thoughts for the month of gratitude:

• Being grateful doesn’t mean life is easy.
• Being grateful means acknowledging that life is tough, but that there is still good in the world.
• Being grateful doesn’t mean everything is wonderful or perfect.
• Being grateful works whether you are happy or sad; whether your life is magnificent or not.
• Being grateful doesn’t mean there’s no room for improvement.
• Being grateful is an ongoing process.
• Being grateful doesn’t mean hiding from the bad parts of life.
• Being grateful is a gift that is free and available at any time.
• Being grateful doesn’t mean you are good if you feel grateful and bad if you do not.
• Being grateful means you are loved — all the time, no matter what.
• Being grateful doesn’t mean you have to “fake it til you make it.”
• Being grateful means using your senses to be fully aware of all the good this world possesses.

A little goes a long way.

If you need help cultivating gratitude, start by writing down one thing — anything — everyday that you are grateful for.

Here are a few ideas to get started:

1. The best part of your day.
2. Your favorite color.
3. Your favorite movie.
4. A song you love.
5. A memory that always makes you smile.

I practice gratitude to remind myself that even in the depths of despair, there is good is in the world. After all, without darkness, we wouldn’t have light.