The Care and Storage of Pizza
Sometimes after you eat pizza for dinner there will be some pizza left over and you will not be hungry enough to eat that pizza.
Do not panic. There is a way to save that pizza for later.
This is the way to do this:
Let the pizza cool off. Do not attempt to store the pizza while it is hot. That will cause the leftover pieces of pizza to stick together. Laziness is your friend here. Let the laws of thermodynamics do their work before you attempt to do yours.
Place the leftover pizza in an airtight container. Back in the day I used plastic Ziploc bags but then my wife realized how many plastic bags we were using and it made me feel bad about the environment and also she forced me to wash the plastic bags and reuse them. Washing a plastic bag is awful and nearly impossible. Soon we had a huge stack of used plastic bags and some of them were clean and some were filled with old pepperoni grease and I sure as hell didn’t plan on washing all the bags again so we had to figure out a new system. I found plastic storage containers at the dollar store that are large enough to hold pizza and now I feel like a genius, a wise financial planner, and a friend to the environment.
Stick the pizza in the refrigerator. DO NOT DO THIS IF YOU HAVE NOT FOLLOWED THE OTHER STEPS. An unsealed pizza slice will dehydrate and turn to cardboard, rendering it (almost) inedible. Seriously, if you walk into my house and stick a box of leftover pizza in the refrigerator, I will stab you.
Sometime in the future:
It is time to reheat the pizza.
(Yes, you can eat it cold if you must. You can stop reading here if that’s your plan, smartypants.)
Step one:
Do not stick the pizza in the microwave. It will turn to mush. Yuck. What is wrong with you?
Step two (the only actual step):
Put the pizza on some kind of baking sheet (or a piece of aluminum foil if you are desperate or hate the environment) and stick it in the toaster oven or a regular oven if you are the type of person who has an old-timey toaster that pops the bread up and goes bing. I set it to 350 degrees for ten minutes. It will probably be ready before that but I like to be thorough. Also, I don’t preheat because preheating is for chumps.
That’s it. Your pizza has been revived like Frankenstein’s monster and is now delicious. You are welcome.
