Overcoming my fear of failure
All my life, I’ve been brought up in an environment where it was better to take a safe middle road than even flirt with the possibility of failure.
For 24 years, I lived my life on the conventional path to success — went to a good school, got good grades, went to a great university and landed a job at one of the biggest companies in the world. I had set myself up for a risk-free life without failure. I could have gone on to climb the corporate ladder, earned decent money and retired ‘happy’ with a fat pension cheque like many of my colleagues. From the point of view of the culture I grew up in, this is what people would DREAM of.
But something didn’t feel quite right. All along the way, I kept dreaming of bigger and more impactful career options — starting my own company some day and helping people in developing countries enhance the quality of their life. But personally, the biggest barrier I faced was the fear of failure. Each time I thought of doing something unconventional, I started getting a million doubts in my head, almost all of them linked to worst case scenarios and potential failure.
I finally decided it was time to overcome that fear or I probably would grow so comfortable in this journey, I may never change at all.
It started by quitting my corporate job and plunging into the unknown. Fast forward 18 months later to where I am now and it’s been an incredible journey. I am still afraid of failure but overcoming it in a big way. I’ve co-founded GreatToAwesome, joined an impact startup (Shortlist), switched career paths from finance to programming and data science, about to move to Africa for a few months and begun investing in seed start ups.
There’s also been and still continue to be moments of complete self-doubt along the way. The fear of failure is so deep rooted in me that I still struggle to pick up the phone and make a cold call fearing the other person will not answer or hang up. But I’ve certainly improved and made a conscious decision to overcome that fear.
Here’s a few suggestions if you’re looking to overcome a similar problem
1. Think of the worst case scenario and you’ll realise it’s not so bad!
Paul Breloff, the CEO of Shortlist, the startup I currently work with quit a high paying corporate law job in New York to work in microfinance in India for almost zero pay. He’s the CEO of a startup in India and Africa where again, there is a huge risk of failure and an opportunity cost of all the money he could have been making as a lawyer. During my interview with him, I remember asking him about how he dealt with the transition mentally and he said something to the effect of: “Worst case, I’ll still have a house to live and food to eat. But I’ll end up with stories more exciting than I could have ever imagined”
Think about the worst case scenario next time when contemplating failure and come to terms with it. Rationalise how it may not be as bad as it seemed before. Ofcourse, if your worst case is you’re putting others’ lives in danger or risking yourself being completely out of money, then I would say think twice. But most of the time the worst case is a lot more manageable than we envisage.
2. Act first then analyse
For most of us who grow up avoiding any risks for fear of failure, it prevents us from taking any decisions till we think our plan is absolutely perfect. When it comes to personal change or doing something different, we spend so much more time analysing every small aspect and holding ourselves back over tiny fears. In hindsight you realise that some of these small aspects are grossly over-exaggerated.
Consider flipping the regular practice of planning and over analysing before doing something. Act first, analyse your learnings, enhance yourself and repeat the cycle.
As part of GreatToAwesome, I wanted to start community workshops for at least 6 months but was always afraid of no one showing up or not being able to deliver content that would appeal to people. It took me a while to come to grips with the worst case scenario (which again wasn’t too bad at all). I then decided to try one out anyway and it turned out to be quite successful. Ofcourse, there’s always learnings to incorporate and make them better going forward.
3. Flip your mindset
After experimenting with the workshops, we’re now flirting with potential failure again with a 4 week transformation program launching Feb 2018. Maybe we’ll lose money, maybe no one will sign up but the learnings will be worth more than any cost of failure! In a few weeks, I’ve already learnt more about sales and marketing than any expensive course could teach me.
Flip the thoughts from negative to positive. If you fail, at the very least you learn what not to do again. And that is immensely valuable in itself!
You learn so much about your own potential and what you’re capable of. Start thinking of failures as massive learning opportunities at the very least!
Another way to change the mindset on failure is minimising your potential regrets. In 5 years, would you regret not doing something so much that the regret could hurt you more than the potential failure?
Think about the future regret and if you feel a strong sense of one, then take that step and accept failure if it happens.
4. Try and achieve quick wins to condition your mind
A great way to overcome any obstacle is small incremental steps. Get your brain used to being less afraid of rejection or failure. Over time, this conditioning will prepare you to undertake much bigger challenges and changes without the fear of failure being an obstacle.
For fear of failure, a great act is to try buying a stranger a cup of coffee until someone says no!
I’m in no way advocating hasty career or life decisions, reckless and spontaneous acts that could jeopardize others or anything of the sort! Do your best to mitigate potential risks in anything and put your best foot forward. But when it comes to making that change and you’re ready for it, don’t let the fear of failure hold you back!
