Please Let This Be The Last Time: 25 FREE IDEAS For Press Secretary Sean Spicer

In which I try to come up with far too many ways to help yet another brand/company/person who definitely does not want my help.

None of us expected Pepsi to be outdone by United only to have United thoroughly one-upped by Sean Spicer’s especially disastrous press briefing on Tuesday, April 12. But here we are. At the end of last week, I gave Pepsi 25 free ideas. And, then, (because I am nothing if not generous and kind) I did the same for United Airlines.

The trick with this one is that, as far as we can tell, there isn’t a direct dollar amount attached to Spicer’s numerous and unforgivable gaffes (At least Hitler didn’t gas his own people! Holocaust centers! Let’s not forget about Trump’s efforts to destabilize the region!). Pepsi flushed millions (I guessed about $30million) down the toilet. United lost $800million in market capitalization. The Press Secretary’s effort have really only cost us respectability, dignity, and the truth. So… Price tag: Unlimited dollars.

So let’s have fun with this one. Here are 25 other ways in which the White House Press Secretary could’ve spent unlimited dollars (the price of everything we once held dear):

1 I’m.

2 Sorry.

3 I.

4 Just.

5 Can’t.

6 Summon.

7 The.

8 Energy.

9 For.

10 This.

11 One.

12 Mostly.

13 Because.

14 There’s.

15 Nothing.

16 Funny.

17 About.

18 Waging.

19 A.

20 War.

21 On.

22 Facts.

23 Truth.

24 And.

25 Decency.

Matt Anderson is the CEO/ECD at Struck. He’s also a husband, a father, a San Francisco Giants fan, a vinyl collector and a book reader.

You can find him on Twitter, LinkedIn and Instagram.

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