Is Therapy The New Trend In Leadership?
I recently fell down the rabbit hole of the huge culture debate on transgender identity.
My path began out of curiosity as to why there was a protest against Kathleen Stock speaking at the Oxford Union debate. So I watched the debate on YouTube and found that for the most part she was speaking logically and compassionately on the subject.
But then of course, my YouTube feed was inundated with almost exclusively one-sided, transgender identity content, and whilst I feel much better versed on some of the big questions of this debate, I got to a point where I had to consciously diversify my feed away from this subject.
It was becoming excessive and the one-sided nature of the content was in danger of fuelling a potentially unhealthy perspective.
There is so much polarity in social media and the fact that it is addictive by design is something we must be aware of and take steps to combat.
It is ironic then that what appeared on my feed after I emerged from the culture war on transgenderism, filled my heart and inspired this month’s newsletter.
The hip-hop artist, Russ whom I had not heard of prior to finding this interview, has released a new album called Santiago.
The name of the album, I went on to find out, was inspired by the Paulo Coelho book The Alchemist.
My interest was piqued…
It turns out that Russ’s latest album was written in the same studio that he took therapy sessions.
He would literally end therapy, turn to the mic and freestyle his thoughts and feelings as a way of processing what he was going through.
It’s an activity that many of us would capture privately in a journal.
And the most extraordinary thing about this is that Russ is not the only artist who is capturing their deepest and most vulnerable inner work in their music.
Adele, Harry Styles, Stormzy and Russ to name a few, have all released albums lately that are vulnerably and bravely fuelled by their own therapy.
Before we consider the impact this cultural trend is likely to have on the nature of workplace culture and leadership…
Let’s spend some time with some of the insights that Russ shares in his interview with Zane Lowe about the album.
The Basics
One of the first things that Russ talks about in the interview is how his childhood experiences shaped his identity.
This is therapy 101 but not to be sniffed at in terms of the impact it has on who we become.
In Russ’s case, he became the carer of his entire family as a child and he reflects on how this has made it difficult for him to accept support from others in his adult life.
He naturally takes a position of leadership in his personal relationships, constantly seeking dynamics where he can continue to fuel what gave him his sense of worth as a child, caring for and finding solutions for others.
A Deeper Dive
Russ quickly takes the conversation to the next level, identifying that he spent the early years of his career attempting to maintain an illusion that
He had it all figured out.
Naturally, this wasn’t very satisfactory and he turned to food and alcohol, drinking before interviews and gaining 30lbs, such was the effort to maintain the status quo and self-medicate what he was really experiencing.
But this next insight is really juicy.
Russ came to realise, with the help and support of his therapist, that what he really needed to face was that hip-hop would never validate what he should have already believed about himself…
That he is a worthy human being without all the accoutrements of ‘success’ that he was experiencing.
‘It’s not hip-hop’s job to affirm me’ says Russ.
And that’s not to say that you shouldn’t still enjoy or work towards ‘success’.
It’s about the source of your motivation to become successful in the first place.
Dark Motivation
We are naturally wired to focus on the negative aspects of our experience more than the positive ones. It’s Darwinian. Our survival as a species depended on us adapting beyond the negatives that would have once killed us.
For the most part, our day to day lives are less riddled with existential danger but we still use a negative pattern of thought to motivate us on a daily basis.
Russ reflects that his motivation for losing the 30lbs that he had gained was a negative thought cycle.
I’m a bad person for letting my body get this way.
No-one will love me unless I get in shape.
I am not worthy of my success unless I fit the desired physical mould.
This kind of thinking may well prompt behaviour that will achieve the desired result but when we take action from a place of dark motivation, the desired result will never be satisfying.
We will still feel broken.
Light Motivation
When we begin to explore what’s it like to love and accept ourselves fully, our motivation for action can come from a lighter place.
I am valid and I accept and love my body fully.
I choose to live a full life in my body.
I am grateful for my physical body and I’m going to make healthy choices.
Action that stems from light motivation instead of dark leads us to become far less attached to the result, more able to enjoy the journey and less reliant on external validators of success.
What’s The Point Of All This?
Social media has changed our world and we can’t put these changes back into the box.
Alongside the polarity that social media fuels, there is also a noticeable phenomenon of self-awareness and messaging around being unafraid to face yourself.
For Gen Z and Gen Alpha, this messaging is second nature through the culture they are exposed to and it is forming part of their identity and expectations.
If we, as leaders don’t become as familiar and at ease with the narrative of ourselves as the upcoming generations are, we will not be equipped to work alongside them.
Our Own Reflection
There are so many benefits in seeking therapy to support us to see ourselves.
Among the questions that will be most pertinent to future leadership are:
What are your most informative experiences of power?
What drives your desire for success?
How, why and where do you like to be in control?
How much vulnerability are you able contain?
What is fuelling the expectations you have of those around you?
At the moment, we have an opportunity to get ahead of the curve of self-awareness that is approaching us but there is little question that the trend for inner work at the heart of popular youth culture today, will be felt in the future of work.
The best way to prepare for the even more rapid onset of cultural change that is facing us is to embark on therapy, healing and self-awareness practices.
The goal is not perfection.
Neither is it to get things all figured out.
…But the better we are able to converse with ourselves with honesty, vulnerability and compassion, the better prepared we will be to face the challenges of the future, create wellbeing in our relationships and work together effectively.
If you are inspired to hear more about Russ’s album and how he used music to compliment his therapy, you can watch his full interview here.
What To Do With Vulnerability?
If the content of this newsletter or the thought of therapy leaves you feeling vulnerable, there are a few messages I’d like to close with.
1. There is a right time and a right place for each of us to choose to embark on a therapy path.
Check in with your own intuition and circumstances to figure out when that time and place may be for you. If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it.
2. The vulnerability of therapy can be daunting but finding the right setting and the right person to support you takes the edge off that vulnerability.
Shop around to find someone that you trust and feel comfortable with.
3. Getting acquainted with vulnerability in itself can unlock new experiences and greater wellbeing.
Check out this conversation about vulnerability that I had with Kajal Pandey last year…
And Finally…
Naturally, the track I’m going to share this month is from Russ’s album, Santiago.
There are so many tracks on this album that touch my heart.
The one I’ve chosen to share is called Fraud.
Who am I if I’m not perfect?
Who am I if I have doubts?
Who am I if I feel less than?
Who am I if I admit I’m scared?
Who am I if they don’t accept me?
Who am I if being me isn’t good enough?
NB — The track contains profanity. Please listen in a suitable environment.
If you would like to work with me and discover ways to lead beyond hierarchy within your business, hit reply to this email. I’d love to chat with you.
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