PSM W1 reflections. To be more my authentic self.

I’ve done with the 1st week of this PSM course. Before taking this course, I’ve dreamed of learning extensive expertises or having great ideas of new tools and approach about self management. However, I’m just starting to have some sense of realization that this is not that type of course even though it’s been explained before on the website that this is not a course like webinar or MOOC.

To begin a new journey of opening myself

I try to clean myself up and bring my best self to work so I can help others bring their best selves to work.
Gates, Melinda. The Moment of Lift (p. 233). Flatiron Books. Kindle Edition.

As a profession in a workplace, I’ve had assumptions that I have to be prepared 100% before I start a new project or attend a meeting. I’ve never shown my anxiety or nescience when I was hierarchical organization.
Since I’ve joined new organization, GingerTpeojct in a social sector which seeks to have more holacracy type of organizational structures, I’ve been experiencing a lot of challenges in terms of way of working, the process and defining R&R with coworkers. To be accustomed in this new environment, I’ve tried to study and learn the new attitude in a way of researching tools and processes. However, now I understand that it should start from myself.

perfectionism means hiding who I am. It’s dressing myself up so the people I want to impress don’t come away thinking I’m not as smart or interesting as they thought. It comes from a desperate need to not disappoint others. So I overprepare.
Gates, Melinda. The Moment of Lift (p. 232). Flatiron Books. Kindle Edition.

This quote hit me straight in my heart. Every time I start a new project or have an idea, I start gathering facts that’s not basic prep but obsessive fact gathering driven by the vision that there shouldn’t be anything I don’t know as Melinda Gates exactly wrote in her book <The Moment of Lift>

Creating a social contract and role expectation canvas

That was the 1st small group assignment and ‘social contact’ is new terminology to me. I started from reading materials and it was a lot. I couldn’t finish to read them all before I start thinking about the social contract. Luckly, an active and passionate team member led a discussion sharing a draft contents, so we could present something on Friday but was not enough I thought.

Making explicit the implicit was not an easy process for me. Maybe it’s because of the cultural thing but maybe it’s not familiar with me.

I want to have a chance to reshape my mindset, taking this course with great and inspiring people. I’ll try to present myself MORE with less hesitance learning self management and want to adopt this new way, self-determination.

I’m expecting the coming 4 more weeks of PSM course.