PSM W5 — Forget about structures, tools and processes… The very first step in this journey is to Self Manage yourself
The Practical Self Management Intensive 5 week journey it’s coming to an end. So I will try to look back for a moment and do some reflection to identify which were the things that made an impression on me, which are the learnings I will take forward, and also as a way of sharing my personal experience with others as I hope it might help them decide to take a similar journey towards a more purposeful and intentional life.
Who goes first? You go…
I would say the overarching umbrella of what I learned in the past weeks, and as I shared in my final reflection with the team last Friday, is that any shape or form of Self Management in any organisation or team, will have to always start with the courage, capacity and willingness to self manage yourself first.
We are very good at starting new initiatives and change processes thinking “externally”. Thinking on what do we need to do “outside ourselves” or “to others” to make the transformation happen.
We start defining new structures and we write in detail new processes, roles and responsibilities. We also go a bit crazy trying to define what is the “latest and shiny” digital technology, system or tool we should be implementing. We define quick wins, detailed plans to achieve them, and draft ideas on how we will tell our story to others when we succeed.
All those “external and visible” elements are fine, but only to some extent. The only caveat with “only looking outside” is that we spend very little time (or none at all) thinking about the only “special element” which cannot be replicated and that its inherently unique. This “special element” it’s us. It’s people. It’s everyone working in your team and organisation. It’s your family and friends. And more importantly, it’s Yourself, and that’s why it should all start within you:
What am I going to do personally to make this change happen?
What do I need as a person, and what will I do to get it?
How can I be the best possible version of myself?
How can I can present myself fully to others, the project, my friends and family, my partner, my pets, etc.?
Below, and as a way of wrapping up the learning journey I had, and also as a way of being generous with my experience, I will try to describe the main insights, mindset, skills and tools I got from each week. I hope it helps :)
Week 1 — How do we know who is doing what?
The first week was about being intentional and explicit when defining roles and agreements in companies, projects and teams. The main point here is that if you are aiming to do great work, you must do the exercise of defining clear roles and accountabilities, as that will be the basis for building trust within your team.
In other words, if you wish to have a great experience working with others and achieve great things, you should be very intentional and clear on 2 things: “How do you want to present yourself to others?” and “What do you expect from others?”
We spoke a lot about “making the implicit, explicit”, with the intention of making everyone aware of the common team agreements today, and more importantly which are the mutual expectations we have with one another moving forward throughout the length of the project.
During the assignment this week we got exposed and practiced with some cool tools, ideas and readings, such as the Social Contract, Role Expectations Canvas, Granular Roles (and not Job Descriptions), Role Advice Process.
Week 2 — Better (Decisions) Together
Then we move onto trying to understand and learn more about how we could tackle the never ending and widespread lack of clarity and efficiency when it comes to decision making processes. And to achieve that we explored how we could have better experiences by making more inclusive and collaborative decisions.
We did a lot of things this week. We explored different types of decision making types, we did a group generative consent decision making, as part of our group assignment we launched a Loomio consent process, and we were also exposed to super insightful content and resources about the topic.
If I have to choose the top 3 highlights of the week I would say are the ones below:
“Not all decisions are ready to be made… Take your time to slow down before making decisions and wait for that “Ripeness” to evolve and develop”
“If we want to make the right decision for all of us, we should spend some time deciding how do we want to make the decision first”
“If you spend enough time consulting with others before you make a decision, and not just trying to push or sell your idea quickly, you will have a lot more options of impacting positive change in the long term. It might take you a bit longer when you start, but it will definitely be a more sustainable decision.”
Week 3: Flourishing is your responsibility
The whole week was basically about recognising and honouring the potential we all have within us.
Despite the general idea we all have about learning and growing (ie go to a training course, get a coach, online learning, etc.), this week we learned that if you dare to look inside and take full responsibility for your own assumptions, triggers and emotions, you will be in a much better position to get to know yourself better, to have more purposeful and fulfilling interactions with others, and to ultimately to take control of your life.
By using the Immunity to Change Map (ITC Map) we explored the importance of taking personal responsibility for our own performance, and growth. I reflected and dug deeper in my improvement goal, the behaviours that were working against it, my worries and fears, and I finally began to uncover the deeper psychological roots of my own limiting assumptions.
This week we also had Bryan Ungard as “guest speaker”, and we explored Deliberate Development Organisations. We discussed the difference between Learning, Development and Flourishing, and we also learned that really cool things start to happen when you allow yourself the possibility of thinking about “Work = Growth”. At some point Bryan also said “We are questioning feedback at Decurion” and I got one very beautiful “Aha Moment” as one of my deep assumptions about work and people development was being massively challenged.
Week 4: Is this safe to try?
This week was a good opportunity to practice some concepts and crystallise some learnings regarding complex problems (versus complicated), “safe to try” experiments, and developing a “bias for action” (rather than just talking).
We spoke about the need of leaving behind our very engrained desire for “perfection, detailed planning and full control” when kicking off new initiatives, to move towards and be more comfortable with a “safe to try” approach, and a mindset which is willing and open to always “test, learn and iterate”.
As I wrote on my reflections this week, in a complex world you will never have all the answers and will be 100% sure of what you need to do. So the key is to keep moving ahead, even if they are baby steps, as they will allow you to explore the future by doing, by getting feedback from people, by identifying tensions, so you can improve and evolve your idea again and again and again.
A prototyping for action approach is an invitation to get more comfortable with being vulnerable, with not having all the answers, and to go with the flow, sensing and responding as you move along.
Week 5: Sharing is Caring
This last week I would say it was the most emotional of the learning experience with the team, and “coincidentally” was the week in which we did a deep dive into our capacity to be generous and helpful with one another.
One of the key thoughts that came again and again to mind during the week was how easy is to “think or say the words” but how difficult is to be really “mindful when behaving” in our day to day lives. By this I mean that we all talk and think about being generous and helpful to others, but we rarely stop to reflect which are those actions we do (or would like to do in the future) that will allow us to be more generous and helpful with other people.
This week I reconfirmed that there are a lot of ways to be there for others, and that the key thing, as with a lot of things I’ve mentioned above, is to take the time to slow down, reflect and be mindful about the intention and impact you want to have on others and also with yourself.
Thank you …
Last but not least important :) In the spirit of generosity, I just wanted to express my deepest gratitude to everyone involved in this learning journey. So I am sending a “massive virtual hug” to Catherine, Elena, Neil, David, Norman, Susan, Lisa, Kate, and also to our Guest Speakers… each of you made this experience a great one and you also helped me in your own very special way during the course, and I really appreciate that.
All the best to all of you… you are great :)
