Week #3 LW_Internalizing my outer doer, externalizing my inner being
This week has been a change of gear in the PSMI, we are going personal. And I have to say, I love it. It doesn’t matter how many times I reflect, or deepen my self-understanding, or uncover yet another layer of consciousness, I always get something new out of the process. This week wasn’t different.
The activity itself was not difficult for me at all. Having a partner to discuss the progress with definitely helped, and once I identified the improvement goal that I wanted to work on, the rest came out with ease and flow. Sharing it with my group wasn’t difficult at all either. And now, for some reason, writing about this week happens to be very challenging. I don’t even know what it is, so I’ll keep writing until I find out. Why is it that words are not flowing? What’s the blockage? Is it sharing myself what I’m not comfortable with? Nah! Is it that I have way too many ideas in my mind and don’t know how to organise them in a text for public access? Not at all! Is it that I keep writing stuff that I don’t like because I’m not really saying what I really want to say? Uhmmm that resonates. Give me a second, I need a pause.
………..
This week has been tough for different reasons that I’m not going to explain now, but what’s been especially present for me is the imbalance of the feminine and the masculine. I wish I didn’t need to explain this anymore, but I’m not talking about women vs men here. I’m talking about my feminine and my masculine, I’m talking about the feminine and the masculine that you all have in you, I’m talking about the collective feminine and the collective masculine. Both mine and the collective live mostly out of balance. Both mine and the collective are craving for acknowledgement, space, recognition of each other and coexistence. This topic touches my heart deeply. So deeply that I’m going to leave it here, for now.
Feminine-Masculine, Inner-Outer, Light-Shadow, Me-You, Structure-Flow,… the duality.
Self Management-Hierarchy. Is this another example of duality? Sometimes we need to completely break with the old in order for the new to emerge. Sometimes like in the above-mentioned spectrums, we need to find the balance and be able to move from one extreme to the other. What I’m seeing and experiencing at the moment in terms of implementing self-management practices is that in some cases it’s easier to go all the way into self-management and break up with any sort of hierarchy. In other cases though, a certain hierarchical presence is still needed. I wonder what the future will bring. Will it be one or the other? Will it be something in between, a combination of both? Or will we see the emergence of something completely different?
We will see. In the meantime, I find myself wondering how I could bring the extremes closer. In any of those spectrums. Maybe I can start by internalising the external and externalising the internal.
One thing is to know the path
Another thing is to be willing to walk the path
And yet another thing is to actually take steps along that path
I know this is the path, this is the way to go. Right now, for me.
I am willing to walk this path. I say it out loud!
Walking this path requires to internalize what’s happening outside by reflecting on it and looking inside, it requires to look inside again, to look deeper, to process stuff that comes up, and then, to externalize by sharing it. So here it is, here I am, walking my path:
Why do we have to look inside ourselves in a Self Management course, you may ask? Isn’t the “Practical” bit in Practical Self Management Intensive about tools and processes and implementing them in tangible and measurable situations? Well, yes. Yes, AND.
Self Management’s foundation is open and honest conversations. It’s about creating the space for people to be able to have either joyful or difficult conversations in ways that are healthy, safe and for growth. It’s about being in relationship with others. The possibility of creating that space arises when, at least one person in the group, is deliberately developmental.
