John Gruber’s home screen

“Holy shit. Have you seen this?” Craig Federighi is staring down at his iPhone, eyebrows raised.

“Eh? What is it?” Tim Cook looks up.

“John Gruber’s home screen. He put it on Daring Fireball.”

“Send it over.”

“It’s… it’s chaos.”

“Holy shit!” Tim laughs out loud, “Look at it!”

Craig is shaking his head, “I can’t believe I’ve been on stage with this guy!”

Phil Schiller is walking past and notices the commotion, “What’s going on?”

“You seen Gruber’s home screen?”

“Nope, let’s see.” Tim passes Craig’s phone to Phil, “Hahaha! Jesus Christ!”

“Tell you what, I commend him on the all black background. But that’s it.”

“Christ the amount of screens he has. Does anyone use that many apps?”

“I literally use like 6 apps.”

“He’s a hoarder!”

Tim Cook is still chuckling to himself, “Does he not know about folders? I mean fuck me!”

“Look at it! The whole grid is full! Like there isn’t a single space for another icon. Like, you unlock your iPhone and BAM! 28 icons in your face.”

“It’s like walking into TJ Maxx!”

“Looks like when you accidently arrange all the files on your desktop and it grids out the whole screen in icons.”

Gruber, Gruber, Gruber… If Gruber was an Android guy he’d have that status bar with the icons packed out all the way along the top.”

“How did he make iOS look ugly?”

“Guys, guys. Shall we talk about the 14,462 elephants in the room?” Craig says.

Tim almost falls off his chair at this.

“Mark as read dude. Mark as read!

“I mean, a notification to alert you you have unread email… if they’re all unread then the notification becomes null!”

“He’s killing me!” Tim dabs a hankerchief to his eyes.

“Still got Vesper on there. Unsupported. Awkwardly next to Notes.”

“I feel bad about that.”

“Ah we gave him a shout-out on stage. Nicest thing we ever did for someone.”


“Can’t look at this anymore it’s giving me anxiety.”

“He’s got Clock and Clips on his homepage. No way he’s using those apps on a daily basis.”

“I’d delete that Hello Weather app because of the icon alone.”

“Reminders, Due and Things. Like, three apps all for the same thing.”

“Hallide. Great app, though.”

“Yeah. Great app. We should buy them.” Tim, Craig and Phil all nod in agreement.

Steve Jobs pokes his head into the room, “Guys? What’s the fuss?”

“Gruber’s homescreen.” Craig chucks his iPhone over to Steve.

“Oh fuck me. Didn’t I meet this guy once?”


“I regret that.”