Steve Jobs and the iMac Pro

November 2016, right after the launch of the first TouchBar MacBook Pro:

“They’re kicking off.” Phil Schiller says over his brand new MacBook Pro.

“Who?” Craig Federighi says, looking over his brand new MacBook Pro.

“Everyone. Going on about how we don’t care about pro users. Don’t care about the Mac. How we’ve forgotten our roots.”

“What? What about the TouchBar?”

“Yep. They hate it.”

“They hate the TouchBar? We spent two years on that.”

“Said they never asked for it in the first place and they want the escape key back.”

“The new keyboard?”

“Hate it.”

“What about streamlining the ports. Our bold move to simplify wired connectivi-”

“They really hate that. Infact they’re fucking livid.”

“Ahhh,” Craig shakes his head, “They’re like this every time. It’ll blow over by next week.”


May 2017, the beginning of the iMac Pro:

Steve Jobs paces back and forth.

“Fuck.”

He strokes his chin, “Fuck it. Let’s just chuck everything in there.”

“How d’you mean?” Phil replies, tapping an Apple Pencil against his mouth.

“Get an iMac and just throw everything at it. All the RAM. All the chips. All the cores. Everything. Just chuck everything in there. Craig?”

“Yeah?”

Everything.

“Gotcha.”

“I really think we should do some market evaluation first.” Phil says, chewing the end of the Apple Pencil.

“Fuck that.”

“Figure out some price points…”

“I’ll give you a price point Phil. Five thousand fucking dollars. How’s that?”

“I like it,” Craig says, “Come on Phil. Let’s do this. Stir the nerd in you. Remember when you cared about a desktop computer? When you just sat and stared at it, rearranging icons, because the internet wasn’t invented yet. Make the Mac that guy deserves.”

“Yeah. But how are we going to market a 5 grand consumer product? They’re already laughing at us.”

“JONY” Steve screams.

A few moments later Jony pokes his head into the room.

“Jony. We’re making an iMac that costs $5,000. Literally how are we gonna market that?”

“Black.” says Jony Ive and shuts the door.

“Wait! JONY!”

The door pops open again, “Yes?”

“Will that be enough?”

Jony pauses, “You know the little connector on the end of the Lightning cable?”

“Yeah.”

“I’ll make that black too.” and he closes the door again.

“Love that guy.” says Steve.