Steve Jobs discusses the 2016-present MacBook Pro keyboard

“Fix the keyboard, Tim.”

“The keyboard?” Tim Cook shuffles nervously. He’s stood in Steve Jobs’ office. Steve is sat at his desk behind his MacBook Pro.

“Fix the keyboard, Tim.”

“The MacBook Pro?”

“Tim, fix the keyboard.”

Tim breathes out slowly, silently. And then in.


Steve gets up from his chair and calmly walks over to the window overlooking Apple Park.

“Fix the fucking keyboard, Tim.”

Tim carefully but quickly reaches into his pocket and pulls out his iPhone. He sends an iMessage to Jony Ive.

Jony. Steve’s about to lose it. About the keyboard.

Steve turns around.

“Fix the keyboard, Tim.”

Jony replies to Tim.

The failure rates are well within our high– Tim stops reading.

“Steve, the rate of failure is actually well within–“

“Fix the fucking keyboard, Tim. FIX THE FUCKING KEYBOARD SHITHEAD.”

Steve walks over to his laptop and spins it around. Safari is open with about 30 tabs. He starts closing each tab revealing the next. Every one of them is an article about the failing MacBook Pro keyboards.






Every word he hammers closed another article.

“Steve. What do we do? It’s been three years. If we admit it’s a huge scandal we’ll have to recall hundreds of thousands of–”

Steve slams his fist down on his MacBook Pro keyboard with a SMACK.

“FIX THE FUCKING KEYBOARD. Fix it. Fucking fix the fucking keyboard.”

He pounds it again. And again. Keys starts popping off and up into the air. Steve keeps hammering.

Tim edges towards the door.

Steve scoops up a bunch of broken keys and throws them at Tim. “FIX IT TIM.”

Tim pegs it.

Steve gives chase.

Tim is running around the loop of Apple Park, he pulls out his iPhone and phones Jony.

“JONY? HE’S LOST IT JONY” Tim says heaving, “He’s chasing me!”

“About the keyboard?” Jony replies.

Yes the fucking keyboard! Fix it Jony!”


“What do you mean no!!!”

Steve is a good runner but Tim’s faster. Steve throws more broken keys towards Tim as Apple employees look on, but the keys kinda fly back into Steve face as he runs enraging him more.

“Christ. And we thought MobileMe was a fuck up.” Says one Apple employee under his breath.

“JONY.” Tim yells into his iPhone, “I’m bringing him to you.”

“You’re bloody what??

“You can deal with it. I’m heading to you.”

“No way.” Jony replies.

Tim is running full sprint and runs down three flights of stairs taking four steps at a time. Steve is in hot pursuit.

Tim doesn’t notice but his Apple Watch notifies him asking if he’s doing an outdoor run and if he would like to log it.

He runs down a high security clearance corridor to Jony’s workshop shoving guards out the way.

Jony hears the commotion and quickly runs over to his security door and hits a big red button. Just as Tim makes it to the door a huge clunk of the deadlock bolts it in place.

“Jony let me in, Jony. Let me fucking in.” Tim scrapes at the door.

Jony looks through the window. Behind Tim, he can see Steve charging towards them.

“Jony please. Let me fucking in. Jony–” Tim begs.

Tim looks over his shoulder back through the glass at Jony and frantically begins shoulder barging the door.

Suddenly Tim’s face squashes against the window and then, his eyes roll and his face smears down the glass like silly putty revealing Steve Jobs.


Jony can see Steve through the window pacing back and forth, he peers in and breathes heavily against the glass. Jony falls backwards.

“Fix the fucking keyboard, Jony.”