8 Places to Travel When You’re Waiting For Your Friend to Text You Back

Don’t worry, they’ll get back to you…right?

Kegan Witzki
Greener Pastures Magazine
3 min readAug 20, 2020

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Photo from Gibbs Law Office, PLLC

In today’s technological age, you have to give your friends all the space they need when waiting for them to reply to your text — and that space can be between 72 hours to six months. Here are some of the best places to travel with all of that extra time.

Coffee Shop

Start your adventures at your local java paradise with a small espresso while staring at your phone in shock as you notice the message you sent three days ago to your friend, Jason, still says “READ YESTERDAY.” Get a text from Eric — that friendly Midwestern guy you met a week ago on a jog — asking to hang out, and ignore it as you obsess over Jason’s message history. Enjoy the warmth of the barista’s giggly conversations and the small cup in your hands — both give you more attention than Jason has in the past three months.

Local Park

Meander around your favorite local park as you stimulate your lungs and play 26 different scenarios about why Jason hasn’t messaged you back. While you smell the flowers, contemplate thoughts such as, “well, he just got out of a relationship that was, like, two months long… must’ve been serious.” Comfort your heart as you stop yourself from uprooting a nearby Oakwood tree when you see his new Instagram post that says, “positive vibes only,” with a filtered picture of eggs and avocado.

Rage Room

Break out your Inner Hulk in a room filled with old TV’s to annihilate after sending seven more check-in texts. Scream out positive affirmations about yourself like, “You goddamn clingy fucknugget!” Staff may ask you to leave after breaking the building’s foundation, but emerge reborn after burning 2,000 calories and creating an easy access point into the Earth’s Upper Mantle. Check Jason’s Instagram, and see he went to San Francisco… with your mutual friends… at Golden Gate Bridge…

San Francisco, California, U.S.A.

Take an overnight flight to the beautiful Bay Area and track down Jason, thanks to a Dark Web app you found in exchange for a picture of your “weenis.” Quickly say hi to that Eric guy who “happened to be in the neighborhood,” and camp…

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Kegan Witzki
Greener Pastures Magazine

Actor. Writer. Creator. Assistant to Dr. Folklore. https://linktr.ee/keganwitzki