A Beginner’s Guide to Power Washers

You never know what you may find.

How will I ever recover? (Photo credit: A. Burges)

Why do I need a power washer?

At any given moment, most structures are at risk of collapsing under a cascade of outdoor effluvia. The average conifer emits twenty-six tons of pollen — that’s tree sperm — each spring, which means your dwelling is only one lustful pine away from imploding…




Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

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Audrey Burges

Audrey Burges

Author, THE MINISCULE MANSION OF MYRA MALONE (Berkley 2023); work in McSweeney’s, Belladonna, Slackjaw, & elsewhere. Twitter: @audrey_burges;

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