Humor
A Brief Personal History of Whether or Not I Could Kick Clint Eastwood’s Ass
There’s just got to be a point where I can take him.
Year: 1978
Eastwood: Age 48, bare-knuckle brawler in Every Which Way But Loose
Me: Age 6-months, cherubic, can’t walk on my own yet
Conclusion: No
Year: 1983
Eastwood: Age 53, unstoppable cop in Sudden Impact
Me: Age 5, avid finger painter, pretty good at hide-and-seek
Conclusion: No
Year: 1995
Eastwood: Age 65, sensitive photojournalist in The Bridges of Madison County
Me: Age 17, asthmatic, worst player on my high school golf team
Conclusion: No
Year: 2008
Eastwood: Age 78, dying veteran in Gran Torino
Me: Age 30, bought a treadmill, can finally do a decent amount of pushups
Conclusion: Probably?
Year: 2021
Eastwood: Age 91, ancient rodeo cowboy in Cry Macho
Me: Age 43, at the peak of my fitness, slept wrong and herniated some discs
Conclusion: Hell no
