Humor
A Trailer For My Inspirational Movie About the Inventor of Crazy Straws
They’re just not thinking big enough!
INT. LOG CABIN — DAY
We ZOOM IN on a young ARTHUR P. GILDERSLEEVE. He unwraps his Christmas present and finds it is his very own straw. Excitedly, he puts it into a glass of water and begins to blow bubbles.
MOTHER: Arthur P. Gildersleeve! How many times do I have to tell you? You are not to be silly while drinking!
EXT. STREET
ARTHUR, carrying a small briefcase with all his life savings in it, looks up at a straw factory.
ARTHUR, V.O. : Have you ever felt like you were looking for something?
INT. OFFICE.
ARTHUR is sitting on a chair while his STRAW BOSS lectures him
STRAW BOSS: This isn’t a democracy, boy! We don’t take straw polls! This is business! And everything has to be straight! Straight straight straight! Just like a good straw!
ARTHUR, V.O. : Like you’re stuck in a giant haystack, and you have to find a needle?
INT. MEETING ROOM
ARTHUR is sitting at the foot of the table. Near the head, two straw moguls, wearing velvet top hats, expensive suits and monocles, are arguing.
STRAW MOGUL 1: I tell you, if we don’t put a red stripe on our straws, we’re through! Red stripes are the way of the future!
STRAW MOGUL 2: If white straws were good enough for my father, they’re good enough for me!
INT. APARTMENT.
ARTHUR and EILEEN are in each other’s arms. She is more than the typical straw business groupie. You can see in her eyes that she understands.
ARTHUR: They’re just not thinking big enough! We’re on the edge of something great…. something that no one’s ever seen before!
EILEEN: Something like what?
ARTHUR: Something that will change the industry. That will give it a new… shape
ARTHUR, V.O. : How long would you keep going through that pile of hay?
INT. BATHROOM
ARTHUR enters and watches as TWO PLUMBERS replace a pipe under the sink.
ARTHUR : Are you two nearly done in there? I can’t think of the next great straw with you banging on like that!
FIRST PLUMBER : We’ll be done as soon as we can find a pipe that’s the right shape. It’s a strange fitting.
SECOND PLUMBER: That’s right. We’ve been having trouble because this whole time, what we needed was an unusual shape.
ARTHUR’s face brightens
ARTHUR: Wait a second! Say that again…
Late night in the straw laboratory. Electricity crackles as ARTHUR finally steps back from his creation: the first crazy straw.
ARTHUR, V.O. : Would you fight for your needle? Would you give anything for it?
INT. MEETING ROOM
One of the STRAW MOGULS looks at ARTHUR’s straw. His monocle goes flying.
STRAW MOGUL: You can’t seriously be proposing a straw like this! Why it’s… it’s… it’s crazy!
ARTHUR: Crazy, eh? I like that.
ARTHUR, V.O. : How would you find your needle… amongst all that straw?
INT. EILEEN’S MANSION
ARTHUR is sitting. EILEEN stands, frightened, behind her FATHER
FATHER: No daughter of mine will marry a man who manufactures mentally deranged beverage equipment!
EILEEN: Oh, father!
ARTHUR, V. O. : I’ve learned the only way to be great… is to never stop sucking.
INT. RESTAURANT
ARTHUR is sitting with a FRIEND, and showing him one of his crazy straws.
FRIEND: Be reasonable, Arthur. Straws simply aren’t meant to have amusing shapes! Why what’s next? A flexible straw?
ARTHUR: What if it was?
ARTHUR, V.O. : I didn’t rise straight to the top.
INT. MEETING ROOM
A STRAW MOGUL strikes the table with his fist, sending one his diamond cufflinks flying.
STRAW MOGUL: I tell you, it’s the last straw! You’re fired!
INT. APARTMENT
Arthur is sitting next to EILEEN
EILEEN: I don’t care two straws what my father says… but what if they’re right? What if there is something twisted in your heart, just like in your straws?
ARTHUR: Sometimes, the best thing to be … is a little bit crazy.
ARTHUR, V.O. : I guess you could say… I took the long way around.
TITLE DROP: “Grasping at Straws”.
ARTHUR is standing in a field, holding a crazy straw out towards the audience.
ARTHUR: Want a sip?
Cut to black.
Rated PG for intense beverage loop-de-loops.
