HUMOR
Aesop Presents: A Donkey, an Elephant, and a Manchin
A 2021 Congressional Fable
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“Congressional action on federal voting rights legislation must be the result of both Democrats and Republicans coming together to find a pathway forward or we risk further dividing and destroying the republic we swore to protect and defend as elected officials.” — Sen. Joe Manchin, D-W.Va (NBC News, June 16, 2021)
One day there was a Manchin on his way to Washington with a Donkey and an Elephant. The Elephant was going on and on about who should be allowed to vote. The Donkey tried to slip him some peanut sleeping pills but they didn’t work. The Elephant kept talking about voting. He was off on such a tangent that even voting on Survivor wasn’t off-limits.
“Damn,” said the Donkey. “This filibuster needs to end.”
As they walked along the road, some folks of the land laughed at the Manchin. “What foolishness is this,” cried one. “The Manchin is walking between the Donkey and the Elephant, why does he not choose to mount the Donkey and ride it all the way to Washington? Certainly, it’s much faster than the Elephant.”
The Manchin did not like to be taken as a fool so he jumped on the Donkey. But then he thought the wiser. “I should not just ride on the Donkey. The people of the land might not like it if I choose sides. So I will ride on both animals at once.”
So the Manchin swung his left leg over the Donkey and his Right one over the Elephant and continued on his way to Washington as the Manchin in the middle — his balls hanging right down the center of both animals.
Until his balls hurt. So he got off both animals and continued walking on his way.
Suddenly, he came face to face with Chuck Schumer who said “What are you doing off your ass, you fool. Get back on that thing and ride it straight to Washington. Do not make any stops. And give me that Elephant. We could use him in the Big Apple Circus.”
But the Manchin did not agree. Instead, he said, “Nonsense. Why don’t you climb back onto your high horse and head back to your chambers.”
But Schumer just looked at him and said, “What high horse?” For Schumer had come on foot.