It’s the Law
Boner-Inducing Amendments for the GOP
Chickens have the right to bear arms despite their lack of arms
1st Amendment
No citizen will be prevented from practicing the Christian religion of his choice.
2nd Amendment
All citizens have the right to wield an AK-47. They need only cross their heart and hope to die that they will use it responsibly. If they fail to use it responsibly, they should issue a firmly-worded “oopsies.”
4th Amendment
Cis white men are granted the right to protection against unreasonable searches and seizures of their porn collections.
19th Amendment
All persons, regardless of sex, have the right to vote for their favorite cis white man who will later make an undying effort to rescind this right.
25th Amendment
The president may nominate a replacement for the office of vice president in the event that the vice president is indisposed due to a riot incited by the president.
34th Amendment
Chickens have the right to bear arms despite their lack of arms.
35th Amendment
