Humor
Born to Busines with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№16)
How to Sell a Lemon
At least once in your career, you are forced to sell a “lemon.” For those who don’t know, “lemon” is business jargon for a clunker, stinker, or real piece of shit product. Imagine trying to sell a vacuum that electrocutes you to death instead of gobbling up dust bunnies. That’s a lemon. Those of us who’ve been in the game for a while though are privy to a dirty little secret…
There is no such thing as a lemon.
It’s all matter of perspective. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and so is value. You give catnip to a dog and they’ll walk right past it. But place that same greenery in front of a cat? Meow we’re in business. In the case of the vacuum that electrocutes the person to death — sure, for an average person trying to vacuum their abode that’s not exactly ideal. But what about someone who is trying to humanely euthanize an entire aquarium of feral goldfish? Suddenly, we’ve got quite the product. What was once dead stock becomes a hot commodity.
This technique is also colloquially known as a “flip.” I reject such terminology as it reminds me of flipping pancakes and I find the imagery of breakfast to be distracting while pondering commerce. However, the basic shape of the idea rings true. Underneath every boring smooth rock is a seething hoard of bugs. And to the right lizard, those bugs (and maybe even that rock) is money. The point is if you only see one side of things you miss the value of the other half. You must instead look at the world and strive to see both truths objectively. See the “bad” product and the “good” product all at once.
This is an idea I call the “glass is wet” mindset. Let me explain. In our traditional binary, an optimist sees the glass half full, while the pessimist sees the glass as half empty. But the “wet-imist” (patent pending) sees the glass as wet. Absolutely soaked. Within that singular damp outlook is the entire spectrum of truth. All is happening at once. Empty or full, the glass is still wet. The trick is to acknowledge the liquid, which allows you to freely toggle your perspective on its volume. Those who see the glass as wet will never drown in the volatile riptides of emotional context. (Full disclosure: I have pitched this idea in many breakrooms to nothing but Olympic-level eye rolls. It’s amazing how people just ignore good ideas!)
At this point you may be thinking to yourself, how did we end up here? Weren’t we just talking about lemons? It may feel disconnected but zoom out…
Lemons.
Wet stuff.
Do you see it? Lemonade. A sour fruit turned beloved beverage through the addition of sugar. With a squeeze, a stir, and a pour that tart tang becomes a quality quench. The fruit gets “flipped.”
So next time life gives you business lemons make a big wet glass of business lemonade. Because a lemon is only a lemon if you leave it a lemon.
