Humor
Born to Business with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№10)
Supply Chains
Question: How do you get your product from the factory floor to the beautifully manicured hands of the consumer?
It seems like it should be cut and dry, but often the process has more bottlenecks than a Cola factory (a joke). Managing this complex network of stakeholders can be a nightmare, but lucky for you I have a simple analogy to break it down.
“THE DAVID BUSINESS PATENT-PENDING PB&J SUPPLY CHAIN ANALOGY FOR CORPORATE EXCELLENCE”
1. Determine Personal State of Hunger: Too often we decide we need a sandwich without questioning if we’re actually hungry. Do you really need another meal? Perhaps you just ate a Philly cheesesteak and anything more is a gross indulgence that will do nothing but further bulk up your already stunningly wide hips. Perhaps in routine check-ups, doctors have even commented on your hips. Perhaps they’ve said things about your “man hips” that haunt you. Perhaps you wake up in a state of humiliation. But let’s assume you are hungry and this is a good idea.
2. Source Only What You Need: If we’re being honest, the first few slices at the head/foot of the loaf are absolute garbage. Someday we will optimize these slices out of our lives, but for now, we persist. Here’s the truth: Any customer who receives a sandwich on one of those slices is not coming back for a second. Take the time to make sure you’ve sourced proper loaves, or at least take the time when initially receiving the loaves to toss those slices where they belong: the trash.
3. Assess Machinery: Do you need one knife or two? Well, it depends on the rest of your ecosystem. If you’ve got a dishwasher, the luxury of two knives makes the whole endeavor a sinch. But if you’ve gotta handwash those bad boys, just use one and wash between uses. Under no circumstance shall you cut corners (feel free to cut crust) and brazenly taint each jar by sticking a peanut butter-covered knife into the jam. If you don’t understand why I suggest you read “The Jungle” by Upton Sinclair.
4. Standardize Ratios/Output: Not many people know this but, things cost money. It can be fun to give a customer a big old drippy sandwich stuffed to the gills PB and J, but can YOU afford to EAT those costs?? (Another joke) Be reasonable. Like a frugal lover, deliver only what is necessary to please.
5. Delivery: It would be nice if we could hand customers the product right out of the factory door. Sadly, no such world exists. I really wish it did. I mean, you have no idea how easy that would make my life. Seriously. ANWAY. Sadly, consumers choose to live farther away from factories, which means you must devise a way to ensure the safe delivery of your product. safe. What will you choose? Plastic wrap? Tinfoil? Or perhaps you make more than sandwiches and select the bento box… wow, now you’re thinking like a business leader!!
And voila, you have gone from zero to full.
Happy eating! (final joke)
David Business is an aspiring CEO, self-accredited LinkedIn expert, and personal associate of writer Kenny Gray. You can connect with David on LinkedIn for even more innovative content.
