Humor
Born to Business with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№11)
Water Cooler Jokes
There is no greater distinction than being the funniest person at the water cooler. The ability to sling an anecdote with the terrifying speed of a jai alai player does not come naturally to all, but like every good facet of business, it can be hacked for personal gain. How? You take my jokes. Though I am not registered with the WGA, I am a prolific water cooler joke writer. I’ve been crafting one bit every other week for over a year and a half. Impressive, I know. These corporate comedy gems have been tucked away in the vault of my mind, and I am finally releasing them to the world. Lob with caution, you might just bust a gut or two.
#1. The only sin you don’t have to repent for? Synergy.
#2. C-Suite? Call me back when it’s the C-Savory!
#3. I went to the jewelry store to ask for the supply chain. They told me they were back-ordered.
#4. Accounts receivable, more like accounts unbelievable (because I can’t believe how much money we’re making).
#5. What did the boss say to his employee on the fourth of July? Great fire-work!
#6. What is the opposite of entrepreneurship? Off-trepreneurship.
#7. What did the B2B business say to the B2C business? Nice letter.
#8. What facet of business has the freshest breath? Manage-mint
#10. I hate paper jams… unless I have some paper peanut butter.
#11. (When someone says something “true” you points at them and say) Fax!
#12. Anyone notice the break room has yet to be broken?
#13. Why did the steel firm acquire the bread company? To make beams on toast.
#14. Just in case the SEC shows up, I write everything on legal pads.
#15. (If you take a trip to a cranberry bog, something I do with alarming regularity, you can say) I like to take my paid time off as wade time off.
#16. Sorry gang, I have to hop on a conference call (put your phone on the ground and jump on it)
#17. You know who loves some good D? R and!
#18. More like always be selling out!
#19. The customer is always right unless they’re left.
#20. And you can never go wrong with consistently calling your coffee a “big brown cup of mud”
David Business is an aspiring CEO, self-accredited LinkedIn expert, and personal associate of writer Kenny Gray. You can connect with David on LinkedIn for even more innovative content.
