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Born to Business with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№2)

Informational Interviews

David Business
Greener Pastures Magazine

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An Informational interview, the delicate dance of learning about a career all while trying not to scream “GIVE ME YOUR JOB!” As someone who has been escorted out of numerous Fortune 500 companies, I can tell you loudly begging for employment only leads to sidewalk faceplant. Still, the number one mistake most people make when conducting an informational interview is assuming they have to be themselves. Wrong.

Pretend to be someone else until you get it right.

In business, there’s no such thing as lying. You’re simply beta-testing different truths. What if you’re the kind of person that is prone to lobby panic and starts telling Marc Cuban-themed knock-knock jokes to executive assistants? Do you really want that as your first impression? No.

Here’s how you do it:

1. You’re going to need a couple of “fake identities.”

Personally, I prefer to think of them as “aspirational contacts” (less harsh). People you wish existed in your network. Watch a couple of episodes of SNL and Killing Eve to get yourself familiar with how to craft a persona. The bigger the better! For instance, my go-to first informational interview persona is Hans Off, a German tech-wizard who’s always wondering when lunch is (funny and relatable). You will have to spend a few hours creating LinkedIn’s for these people. It will take time but remember, it’s an investment into your career. Jambalaya Bill has gotten me into more boardrooms than I can count. Once you’ve dreamed up a few personas and made contact with the target….

2. Ask for a phone interview.

As Mrs. Doubtfire taught us, the voice can turn one man into many. In advance of this first interview, do no preparation. Zero. The point is to blow it. Go in hot, uninformed, and ready to probe. You want to catch them off guard and get a sense of what won’t work. Ask whatever comes to mind and end with something flashy that forces them to end the call. I usually go with “Can you wait a minute, I have to take a pill that goes up my ass.”

After waiting an unsuspicious amount of time, make contact again with a new persona. Swing the other way on this second call. Be deferential, polite, a real sweetie. The objective here is to appeal to their humanity and uncover what will work. But be careful, they may offer this persona a job. It will be very tempting but under no circumstance may you accept. Trust me, living a fake life only leads to chaos and seemingly endless therapy. So torch this conversation but in a nicer way. My go-to is “I have to put my ghost to bed.”

3. Arrive as your actual self.

Armed with the knowledge of what this person both loves/hates you can enter the interview with an arsenal of well-crafted questions. This time, go ahead and ask for an in-person coffee meet-up. You’ve earned it! You’ve now met this person multiple times without them even knowing. Secret knowledge like that flips the power in your favor. And just like yoga, in this scenario power is everything.

Will you get the job? Probably not, that’s how business goes. Building a career is about developing as thick a forehead as possible so you can continuously bang your head against the wall. However, the one thing I can guarantee is you’ll get an interview… and you’ll definitely get information.

As Jambalaya Bill would say “Sounds good to me, crawdad.”

David Business is an aspiring CEO, self-accredited LinkedIn expert, and personal associate of comedy writer Kenny Gray. You can connect with David on LinkedIn for even more innovative business content.

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David Business
Greener Pastures Magazine

Business is more than my passion, it’s my name. LinkedIn Warrior and Management Theory Freak. Close personal associate of comedy writer Kenny Gray.