Humor

Born to Business with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№20)

David Business
Greener Pastures Magazine
3 min readApr 19, 2022

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Self-Analysis

Image via Medium

Don’t wait for an annual review to put your personality under the microscope. The ability to self-assess is key to becoming the best business boss possible. If you can stay ahead of easily identifiable criticism, you open yourself to receiving truly innovative notes come your one-on-one with the head honcho. But such self-inflicted therapy needs a framework. Otherwise, you’ll quickly wander into the abyss of self-doubt and delusional grandeur. And so I introduce to you…

Plus Delta (+Δ)

It may sound like a cushy membership level on America’s premier airline, but is in fact the most powerful feedback tool you’ll ever encounter. Here’s how it works.

PLUS — Start with what you like about yourself. If this doesn’t come naturally, look at a table of positive adjectives and see which of them make you smile. Then take a look at your work and notice what makes you glow with a sense of pride. For instance, I recently gave a presentation to a group of investors and they whispered insults to each other less than usual. Success! Perhaps you haven’t done any big projects, that’s ok. Replying to an email with speed and vigor is enough.

Some say positivity doesn’t have a place in the conference room, and they’re right. Your manager is not your friend and that is what makes them so great. A friend would never point out your deepest flaws. But let’s remember this is an exercise for yourself in seclusion. When you’re swimming in the blood-infested shark tank called corporate America, a positive inner monologue may be the only thing that keeps you from screaming yourself to sleep.

DELTA — Now that you’ve gorged yourself on a mental buffet of kindness, it’s time to add some roughage into your diet. Delta is the Greek symbol for change, so here we ask “what would you change?/do different going forward?” If you’re anything like me, your brain instantly overloads with answers the moment the question is asked. As someone who aspires to become a corporate maven, my need to change is almost infinite. I am certainly not enough as I am, that’s for sure.

So how do we break it down? Easy. You need to focus on what is required of you to get to the next level in your career. Put on a fake voice, pretend to be a client, and call your head of sales. How do they interact with you? Do you do what they do? If not, copy them. Become them. Usurp them. Honestly, if Caesar had done some critical self-reflection the story might’ve ended differently.

These two forces in tandem give you a personal agenda on what to keep and what to re-tool. A one-stop-shop for personal brand maintenance.

At this point, you may be noticing a distinct lack of “what am I doing wrong?”. Shouldn’t it be Plus, Delta, Minus? As I said before, the corporate world is a savage jungle of chaos. For some (aka me) it’s the monetary/erotic thrill of a lifetime. You will know what you’re doing wrong on a daily basis. Trust me, if you haven’t experienced merciless critique at the hands of a cufflinked hunk, you will. Plus Delta operates with an understanding of the ecosystem we actually operate in. That’s why you need to balance out all that violent criticism with positivity and proposed change.

As my first manager told me…

“Once you crush yourself into a fine paste, you can begin to mold the great sculpture called a career”

Go forward and be what is needed. Analyze yourself into oblivion.

David Business is an aspiring CEO, self-accredited LinkedIn expert, and personal associate of writer Kenny Gray. You can connect with David on LinkedIn for even more innovative content.

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Greener Pastures Magazine
Greener Pastures Magazine

Published in Greener Pastures Magazine

Greener Pastures is a comedy and satire site run by a bunch of writers obsessed with out-writing, out-joking and out-funnying each other.

David Business
David Business

Written by David Business

Business is more than my passion, it’s my name. LinkedIn Warrior and Management Theory Freak. Close personal associate of comedy writer Kenny Gray.