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Born to Business with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№6)

My New Year’s Resolutions

Image via ET

The start of a new year is the perfect time to reassess personal corporate strategy and streamline any unsightly bottlenecks. For guidance, here is my own list for 2022.

1. Arrive at the office even earlier. There is always more to be done and you won’t hit traffic if the sun isn’t up.
2. Leave the office as late as possible. When the sun goes down is when your brain *really* turns on. Harness the late-night delirium and innovate until you break.
3. Take an improv class to improve breakroom confidence and banter. Horace dominates the breakroom with his midwestern charisma. Unacceptable.
4. Develop a taste for Soylent to get in the mindset of Silicon Valley.
5. Relisten to Jack Welch’s book on tape. He was the CEO of General Electric and also CEO of your heart.
6. When the printer jams, man up and sacrifice your hand for the company.
7. Spend one night a week at a hotel so you can build up a rapport with lodging chains. This will set you up to thrive when traveling for work.
8. Figure out what cologne Horace wears. He smells like a dream and you’re sure it’s giving him an edge in meetings.
9. Begin micro-dosing Tylenol to expand your mind’s capabilities.
10. Take a moment to reflect and appreciate correspondences with senior executives. Time spent on Mt. Olympus should be cherished.
11. Invest in a rewards card at Express, the men’s fashion mecca.
12. Triple-check daily you are armed with every dongle necessary.
13. Train your body to need the bathroom less. It is in every sense pure waste.
14. Study Horace. He must be up to something. No one man could be so charming and prolific at Business Development.
15. Learn more ways to tie a tie.

Failure is not an option! What will you achieve this year?

David Business is an aspiring CEO, self-accredited LinkedIn expert, and personal associate of writer Kenny Gray. You can connect with David on LinkedIn for even more innovative content.