Humor
Born to Business with David Business, LinkedIn Warrior (№7)
Firing Kurt
I had to fire someone today.
Working at a theme restaurant, our team is a living breathing organism, interconnected in so many ways. When you cut one piece off, the whole team feels it. It was tough… but it had to happen.
Kurt had been playing “Tarzan” in the Jungle Cantina for a few weeks. He was a shredded, college drop-out, hunk dreamboat of a man who dazzled customers with his arm veins and unannounced backflips. On paper, he was everything we needed and more. But Kurt had a problem. Kurt liked to do cocaine in the bathroom and smoke cigarettes near the customers.
What do you do when a top performer just can’t play by the rules? It’s a tough situation. People were coming to the restaurant just for Kurt. Sure, most of them were drug dealers or his degenerate JNCO jean-wearing friends, but customers are customers! However, After a coked-up Kurt screamed “I am god!!” and did a backflip into a church group, it was time to do the deed.
I brought Kurt into my office and sat him down. He was busy texting “some hottie” while I gave him the news. I guess everyone deals with grief in their own way. He turned in his Tarzan costume (a grass skirt and that’s it) and went on his way. He said he was headed to a DMB concert and was going to “see what these k-holes are all about.” I’m so out of touch with the youth.
What can we learn from Kurt?
Managers and employers need to remember they are just one chapter in the story of people’s lives. Though they leave your office, they are not gone from the world. Sometimes shitcanning an employee is the best thing for the company and for the employee’s personal growth.
God speed Kurt. Thank you for your service.
Also, this Friday we’re doing half-off apps for anyone willing to scale “Aztec Tony’s Wall of Pain” should be fun!!
David Business is an aspiring CEO, self-accredited LinkedIn expert, and personal associate of writer Kenny Gray. You can connect with David on LinkedIn for even more innovative content.
